react. re-use. and recycle.

sorry nalang sa mag react. and sorry kang maldita gal pal. i cannot help it. i typically don't make sawsaw cuz am more interested in my life story the whole time and i hardly am a good listener. pero i saw how hasslefeck it is being your girlfriend when you're hurting, as i am equivalently a hasslefeck when i am hurting. maka suko masking ingnon pa na wala ko labot.


i wish wala ka nalang niya na friend. mayo nalang kamao ka na bati imo batasan.

at least naa ka redeeming factor kahet paano.

as for the guy. maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, get a backbone.



love,
batang hilabtanon.

re-use and re-cycle

friend. di nindot mag recycle sa exboyfriends.

ang tawag man gud ana kay..

basurera!

(okay, dili ni nako issue. it's just that boring kaau if i don't make sawsaw and since am caught in the crossfire kunohay, shege. mao nalang na ang ako ala raenism!)

undangan na.

famous last words.

makafeel gyapon kog presence sa irits and concern every time i hear his friends tell me they saw him drunk- sa public places, yada, yada, yada.

but, then again mas lingaw goro if kadungog ko na chikahan ko'g na yatap sha kay nabun-an or naligsan kuyog ang bulbous nose gal.

at least libre ang kape og biskwit inig kakita nako niya.

aaaaaaaaaaaay. lain najud ko'g batasan.

lian: how come daw ka bitter sounding cmu?
raen: shempre, sin-o namian maisahan haw?
lian: naisahan ka haw?
raen: oo kay dapat ako ang mantunto kay mas bata sha sakon. teh diba, mas bagay sha tuntohon?
lian: waaaaah. tsakto.

ayan. nilubos na. undangan na nako ni.

so now..

Chris asks lunch early and i tell him am busy. wala judko angay to tell anyone am busy cuz it's easier to cope with the deliverable now. altho i miss having classes et al, i don't have to deal with the drama-rama of the travel account that comes along with every snow storms, airline bankcruptcy, and such.

it took a good 10 minutes for my pc to boot. kaloka. and every window i would open hangs. vaketch vantive god? may kasalanan naman akong ginawa?

--

okay, some things can get really old. if magthrow man mo'g epileptic fits because not everyone wants to listen to your very fine opinion it's your call.

DILI IKAW ANG NAKIPAG LIVE IN ANG GINABEAT SA IYA UYAB. try seeing yourself in that situation and tell me how you wanna react. you don't just run away from it and not deal with it. people deal with their demons at their own terms. you don't have to rub it in cuz you're doing more damage by telling me that i am not listening. some people had to let things sink in to their systems before they can manage to get out.

and if you were ultimately born cynical about the stuff that goes wrong with life, which may eventually turn out to be right. i am not like you. so don't push things even if it were in the premise of friendship and caring, you are plainly being PAKI-ALAMERA AND SELF RIGHTEOUS.

quit acting like you are dr. phil. so if you please; ignore me. i know you have tons of things to do because you have a job. :)

thank you for the past couplah years. now we both finally know that we don't have to be friends. :)

--

unta 5 am na. :)

--

it dawned on me na wala ko Christmas present this year. i ended up asking emanuel for money(cuz i am poor like dut:) and told him i'll buy me present and i can buy him club sandwich from bob's. of course he tells me that it's not a fair deal.

--

went home a bit late this morning cuz nazel and i bought booze. feelingera kaayo mi mag go boozing. lo-od kaayo tan-awon. haha.

--

saw yuki this morning. she tells me they're all going to iloilo. informed her am planning to see boracay on the 21st. and we were all dancing with the thought that we might wind up going there together. sana matuloy. sana sana sana.

i kinda missed the people i became friends with when i started dating bernard matthew. it's odd how you stopped seeing friends when you stopped seeing the person you were once with.

yawn lang.

--

naloka ko when am told that i did not follow instructions. sa tino-od lang how can i follow instructions when noone tells me wut to do? davah. some people in this city. tsk tsk.

love,
raen

There were so many of us who would have to live with things done and things left undone that day. Things that did not go right, things that seemed okay at the time because we could not see the future. If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can't know better until knowing better is useless.
--John Green, Looking for Alaska

those lil guideposts

my females hormones are acting up lately. i was nauseated the whole day and lost my security blanket- my medium sized bottle of white flower. :)

but today's not so bad, we got to get thrifted clothes from talisay's depot- hahaha. goodwill hunting galores. czar/anime/some trainers/nazel. :)

McDonald's no longer as inviting as i thought fast food were. gimme two days, i will retract this statement. and well, i ate muffins with the training team for breakfast at mcdo today. nyoks.

altho i honestly wanted to starve myself cuz people always mistake me as pregnant- case in point- the ukay guy tells me, "miga bagay na sa imo kay buntis ka." haha, makatumbling- i then am compelled to really stop bingeing on anything that's made out of 2-4 legs. and yet, i consumed 2 crabs from anime's house(with nazel agawing my share:), a pandesal smeared with veggie spread, one plate of beef spaghetti at home, and even bought ice scramble.

tempted to buy durian today, but decided not to cuz i have to take mass transit yatap mga kuyog nkog dyip eh.

today's been fun. i thought i had at least 6-7 hours of sleep.

Dear God, i'd fancy it if you killed other people who pisses me off. or if you want i can poke some gals' eyes cuz kabwisit sila. panget sila.

"People grow through experience, if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." - Eleanor Roosevelt

that means nazel can be mayora and czar congresswoman, i'll be vice president na diay. :)

man, i really miss my sisters. :( they could've awayed the pangets in the world.

0917

okay, some nincompoop actually threw my mobile phone away so i am changing numbers.

i will use 0917-438-2296 forever. ♥

go pre-paid!

lullabies

"She says nothing at all, but simply stares upward into the dark sky and watches, with sad eyes, the slow dance of infinite stars."
Gaiman


although i know how some things might potentially ruin what i have now, i'll still continue nurturing what i feel is right at this point- prolly in the end i might say i am really silly for running towards all directions at the same time; i will still run. (okay, yofaks maging vague!)




angelo breaks my heart in a good way at times. when he is asleep, he's like the most beautiful creature there is. i'm also jealous of his lashes.







he was like an angel, you know? i never knew life could be like that. he was the one thing i followed through in my life, the one thing i didn't give up on. i was good at loving him. (who knows where this quote is from?)







i realize that i am like this too::
Sometimes, kids want you to hurt the way they hurt.


(For One More Day, Mitch Albom)



cuz the other day when i was hurting, i wanted gelotine to wind up crying too. so i purposely said something that would make him weep. dah, gaba.





God is faithful.










edits:: maka bad mood na tonight. some people in this city take themselves too seriously and think they've the right to boss everyone around. sue me. di ko ninyo minion.
i hate this city. sunoga sila tanan Lord beh.

beautiful and damned

magfeelingera nalang ang title cuz i want sleep. when i got up for work gistorya pa nako ang toilet bowl and shower if muwork jud ko tonight..and to my surprise, they both said, i ought to work



i had one work incident today that i will never live down. ever. one of the nesting agents from the new wave asked me what he'll do with a call, most of the time guy agents are easier to instruct if you compare them to girl agents who'd ask you so many questions then ask you to repeat instructions, this guy's quick, but, i were too tired to give more instructions so i sat on his non-ergonomic chair na dali mabreak then documented his call, after which i told him to call our tier 2 support, i don't know what happened in between when he told me he's placed the caller on a 35 minute hold, i asked him if he can reach anyone and wut number he dialed, and the bastard tells me "IKAW BALA NAG DIAL AND NAGPRESS SANG POUND 2" which is sobrang delilah addictus na reply, so i retorted back "ADDICT KA BA? ANONG AKO ANG NAGDIAL?" and he shot back "SO SISIHAN NALANG GALI?".. i almost wanted to strangle him and tell him if he were to lie to me point blank, i'd rather not have him talk to me or ask me any questions to aid him with his job. GAGONG BASTARDO.





True Love was forever lost. The prince was never coming back to kiss me awake from my enchanted sleep. I was not a princess, after all. So what was the fairy-tale protocol for other kisses? The mundane kind that didn't break any spells?

New Moon - Stephenie Meyer



ahgahd. i will never have boy crushes again. kaloka how they magnify everything and then later you'd ask yourself who died and crowned them prince charming?


gelo's drunk and i wanted to throw i hate you i hate you fits at him, i had some restraint, when he woke up, i told him i loathe it when he is drunk, he said, daw bata ka most of the time, then again daw demonyita ka most of the time too. i told him if he continues to drink his tush off daily, he would die young. he knew my spiel, and he dozed off.
kaloka.
i don't mind if he goes boozing, i'm just scared that one day alcohol would fry his liver, cuz whilst he is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay cute when he is wasted, i do not think he will still look cute when he writhes in pain and is battling liver cancer.



i am 1/3 upset and unwilling to work. at times my negativity is also infectious, so to shoo negativity away, pabango nalang ako nang pabango, then i am left floating in happy notes of coconut and vanilla daily. at least masking i would keep yawyawing i'd leave a trail of happy happy summer days. (labo).. di bitaw, someone asked me, if you quit working for the company where will you go? nge, apparently, to many places. noone is left without an option. those who thinks they've no option would just eventually die. i am waiting for things to settle before i even move.
yofakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks. another manic work week. but, thank You dear Lord for seeing me thru.

asan ka nung may kaguluhan?

caller: i want to speak with a manager. i know you are nice. i want a manager though.

raen:(kay nairits ug dili feel ang feeling sa caller na sha ai dakilang agent lamang) siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir, siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiir, I AM A SUPERVISOR. and i will help you. :)

tumbling.

rants.

irks me how some people feel like they owned tp.

one day this city will find it's way to let em pay. them skeezes. geez.

(kasalanan ko bang di marunong magenglish most agents? they should strangle recruitement for hiring agents who could not speak english no matter how you try to twist their tongues add up the fact that the whole system of the account is screwed.)

0>---------------------

i've class na namens. pansit na namens cuz it fell on the morning shift. fooooooooooooooooootah.

a stain in my immaculate white shirt

i don't have a life anymore, since i am usually talking about my classes and the people from work. and most of them around me now aren't adorable people. and i've just about had it with the people who feels like they're my bosses. ats if. when it rains, it's four. dikaya.

and yeah, i've had it with stains on my denim skirt/seersucker dress/white tank tops/mellow yellow blouse. everyday, i come home with white board and scented markers stains. ahateit.

am pmsing big time. good thing payday na tomorrow. i don't want anything new, i don't have a shopping list. it's just that i wanted a massage and i had been putting it off since i got here. and it's always a good if not better feeling to have some money in the bank and then days after payday, you'd have to wait for the next payday na naman.

one day soon, when i come to understand this city i will leave. right about now, am not ready to leave yet.

in class: at times i mumble my words/ construct the most incorrect/incomprehensive sentences unknown to mankind. i catch myself laughing when i do that. but, really i could not write/speak in straight english like how i can back in kindy or gradeschool. kakahiya big time. and yeah, grammar check nalang gyud ko dapat always. but, then again other people in this city or this company must not try checking my grammar cuz i know dut i am waaaaaaaay better than them.

i hate guys. ugly guys who feel like they have the right to boss you around.
incident kanina: gipaypay ko paduol sa hayup na manager ug sultian, i need your tracker updated. am like, are you talking to me?  haaaaaaayers, some people here feels like they're the owner of this company. to thunk noone i repeat noone is indispensible in any company.


last day tomorrow. then the week after next, am gonna be on another class. hayers.

i miss angelo.

all in a day's work

am supposed to rant about someone i awfully thought had "power" ruined his character and back in the day he isn't even the best agent there is when taking calls. i will not.

basta now, i would look at work as work. i did not choose to work here to make friends anyway.

nonetheless, class had been a breeze today even if we had to transfer rooms last minute and even if we can see pipes from the ceiling and even if not all agents can log-in to their PCs.

it is well. soooooo, some people shouldn't be too nitwit to "thunk" that they are the most credible trainers cuz all they do is BS.

and i have at least 8 more months to go before my training bond would end. afterwards, it'll be thank you very much..

yikes.

i still don't like my class. most of them are demanding and do not have manners. when they call your attention they'd say, "what was that?!!!" or they'd use their hands to beckon you towards them. grovers.

awon nako if they don't change after i issue IRs for their tardiness and browsing non-business related sites. ;)

hehe. even adults can learn a thing or two about manners.
one trainee came up to me with a suggestion that i give out the airport codes earlier this way they can study ahead of time, and i was like, don't i give them out 30 minutes before you guys leave class? you have your copies with you.

tas another one came to my table and opened my book to show me what page she's having trouble with. mejo atribs.

but, then it's woooooooooosah. ;)

last night we had dinner at 21, just me and gelo.

plak. wapak.

no wonder ya think people treat you like a pushover pero i think ikaw ra nakafeel ana, cuz aside from sugoera ka, agaw eksena ka pa. so think again before ka magpa-awa effect.
ug dhay, di ka gwapa. desperada ka for your age..

i am not sorry cuz i do not honestly like you.

some people are stupid

just like some people in this city. and in manila- they're much more stupiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid.

woosah. carry on.

well since it's chinese new years. i refuse to speak badly of other people in my blog and try not to until i cannot.

pms sucks and you wind up not liking people. but, maybe i don't necessarily dislike some people, it's just that today is not the best day to be chummy chummy with everyone around, except that we had to say gbye to those who helped us out here in tacoma and showed us how we will go about building our own army back home.

6 weeks. wow. that's a long time to be away.

today, we had our real train the trainers for like 4 hours. those 4 hours were the most helpful to do our jobs specifically as trainers. but, the next few months til maybe summer we will still be observed and analyzed and coached.. so yeah, everyday is a learning opportunity..

tomorrow would be our last night in tacoma. we'll have dinner with the class we were in. kinda sad but, i am grateful and happy to meet all of them people.

my luggages. laundry. xoxo.

 

spite.

i know i resolved to be nice always. pero if may koreanang panget na intrimitida na feel na feel ang pagkatao nya; i will truly barang her. sobrang hateness ko when people thunk we don't know anything- like helluh, dyo know everything din?

may kinilaw bah kayo? wuz.

may ihaw ihaw ba kayo? wuz.

and shempre, if kilala ko nga kung ano ang licorice sticks, ila-ilahon sad daw nako ang gummy bears and everything like dut noh.

--

am pmsing. pero, i'll miss this place kahet pano. i learned that it's nice to see places just so you'd have an idea of wut the people are like. but, don't leave your country and live in someplace for a looong time cuz you'll end up being spiteful of their ppl. kasoooooooo---> this is only applicable to moi. and moi alone. ;p

--

okay. 2 mistakes ako sa quiz. yehey. ang galing ni Lord. gibuhat ko nya almost bright. or bright. hahahaha. ;p

--

graduation tomorrow. ;p

yeah! my nails are pink. ;p

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargggggggggggggggggggggggggh, i am so furious at gelo i could cheat on him gyd.

i mean, this boy should learn tons of lessons about fidelity and trusting people. grovers nasha ka oa magpraningated fits each time he calls me. like hello, i know you are young, but, grow up man.

hayers.

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.

i know i might be pikon but, at times i wish people who knew me well enuf would say things with more tact. and would say things in love and with love.

those days.

i know i had been doing nothing the past few days. and my idle time is actually spent worrying about the delivery, waiting for more instructions, printing out emails, and plainly just being bored.

i'm okay when people asks me to give a hand. i also ask for assistance most of the time when i know that i would need one. kaso lang, what took me aback today when i was tasked to do something was how i was told to do it.

uno, i cannot be productive if i just stare at those CVs and do not know wut to do with it.

two, i did not volunteer to do the job. yesterday, at that meeting, i was up in the air and totally not interested.

three, if people volunteered to do things for ops, then panindigan nila. or ask me if i wanted to, not just surprise me with the task at hand.

--

parang, after all the hassle i've been thru the past few weeks, and putting up with the negativity when almost most everyone had airs of their own, i rarely complained thinking that i have a goal and happy with my decision to pursue this goal..

and even if them people would think i am not stepping up and being lazy, they can think all they can.. cuz it's kyepoy.com