eat cake ♥

Even though the crowd scares me and the people who would walk leisurely without any sense of purpose at the grocery alley make me go nuts, I braved SM to get chocolate mousse for ourselves. Yeah, red ribbon is still love. ü

love serves

pre-valentine's date with keken et dichee today at the hematologist's clinic. ♥ platelet count: a whopping 478. wohoo!
steroids intake will be tapered. Dear God you are love.

meet the bartins

photos today
cpus visited.

kenji's a bit bloated but is looking really cute. don't grow up too fast baby.

home is where the sibs are

Home is where the sisters are.


My first documentation of Keken's plane ride.12/21
Shobe and Tmac's place with the kiddies.(From 12/21-27)
Of bathe time, rubber duckies, baby's nursery and plush toys, SM, and my adorable babies.
And the two lovely sisters. All the love in the world, in my sisters.

Kahit ano pang mangyari, basta't tuloy parin ang Pasko!

I honestly did not have a long wishlist. I only wanted my pink hediota and I got it a week before Christmas. I wasn't ultimately worrying about monies because I know that it will be given. On my wishlist were crazy things like peace on earth or mindanao or in places that has never known peace or God or chicken and mojo potatoes. Yes, I wanted everyone fed and warm and happy. Who wouldn't? I also wanted God to give the she-wolf a heart attack and she'll never recover. But, I learned that she's not the only person who is responsible for us feeling bad. I am not totally blameless. Even if in my heart I know that I did not start the belligerence, I fed the fire of being belligerent too. I said mean things too, though it might not be as mean as what she has been formulating. So, I'm not gonna ask that she have a heart attack. ;p

I am happy I have good friends. That when I write a list for gift-giving, I can count more than one or two people on it. And that I would just highlight whom I should be handing the gifts to, because gifts or no gifts, I know that I have friends. I know that even if we say things about each other, at the end of the day, we find ways to make up. And that's how friends should grow.

I am glad that I still receive texts that would say, woo-hoo, you'll be in the city in 24 hours, we will see you at the airport. I'm so excited, and I miss you Achee. I, whose dating status might not be the best or might be nonexistent as of late, is really glad that I can take solace in the sms, emails, instant messages, words of my sisters. That even if I don't have the best relationship with my Ma, she hugs me, and tells me that I looked too thin or too pudgy-even if it gets irritating, it all boils down to love.

And that God has been steadfast, at 24 I've wanted the gift of consistency. He has given me that, in terms of family, of relationships, of friends, and even work. I never looked closely enough. And yet, this year, with heaps of appreciation, I know that I've been given soooo much.

 

Tara na 2010!

see you next month kaiwi

11/23-11/24 photos.
at home and shakey's sm just before ma and kairi were off to the airport. november was sweet. december's gonna be even better. ;p

love or something like it

july 22, 2009
location: at home
sunburst, ayala terraces, cebu

independence day weekend

photos from june 12-13
and my new cap..
:)
taco granita date with nazel

wanton noodles and green tea latte sunday

who: dichee kap gwa
where: l sea- chinese food place
starbucks

we had chinese- quail eggs siomai, shrimp dumplings, beef wanton noodles, soy chicken..

cape at tsa afterwards..

i love having a sister..

mother's day weekend, margarita, and tsa

may 9, 2009
where: at home with the kiddies
at chicken house alunan, family dinner and nazel had to catchup.
at pepe's for margarita
at starbucks for green tea latte
and at the work place with shamoo

march 31, 2009

last petix na shift in bacolod.
and at home before going to nowhere land..

it's a beautiful day

The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town

You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere

You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace

It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

You're on the road
But you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination

You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now
Was a beautiful day

(U2)

running, panting, spraining the ankle a bit with the sister and the nephew
1/11/2009
forest park- diri tani kami ka buy lot and build a house. oh yeah!

all flowers bend in time

12/27/09

of dich after groceries
of the ride home after small group
of cookie's bisperas of the 28th bday at pepe's
of sunday's shopping spree with nazel
of sunday's worship at vcf
of mark's present- ang everlast smiley flower (yay! acting na kaau ko na nasurprised ko.. pero akon heart daw nagcartwheel yah eh..)

sweet peas

“A sudden change in appearance.”

I tugged on the ends of my newly cropped hair.

Huh. Who knew I was so predictable?

- Hannah Baker



with shobe during the holidays.

kairi cate before taking off for cebu

december 31, 2008.
our dearest schedule change baby took off for cebu at 9pm.

photos will still be stored here. verbal diarrhea, someplace else.

whoa!

went boozing with nazel today. kay peer pressure man ang ia key word. we got booze from coco cabana, tas nag dinamak nami. haha.

dich saw me and yelled.. hoy, kinsa nibantay sa ako anak? something to that effect.. good thing si mommy of perpetual help saves the day! may tita nanny na si keken. whoo hoo!!! God is never too late.. siguro gipatilaw lang ko niya how to stay up late and be impervious to poop and booger..

and am taught some accountability to another and not just myself..

i don't like it. and masking carrying kairi is a task. she would cry when i carry her..i told m i am not ready to become a mama..

oa.

hehe. mabuang nako sa office love affairs. lingaw mag chismises. pero basig sabonon ko. so no.  i'll be a spectator, gladiator. (corny.)

i blogged how i did not enjoy the helmet walk and the scuba diving chenes in boracay.  and i now told m the real reason why i didn't have fun with it.. and wut prayer was i saying while underwater. ü

i reckon now that i am just being a TO BE rather than being a TO DO, i am getting more than what i've settled for. ü

i am happy. and complains less, this i've noticed as of late. :) maski pa other difficult people are still on my case and at times would go out of the way to make me look like a ditz, okay pa rin. ü it boils down to one thing.. ipises (cockroache-plural..) are a natural occurence..


i'm asked.. if 1 bite left sa cookie wud you share it with me?
i said: cookie monster. i wouldn't share.. i will let you have it.. ü

miss universe answer!


"and the elfin princess laid to rest..
on her bed of air..
she blinked once and blinked twice..
w/ birds chirping lullabies..
and her sweet prince rubbing her brows..
drifted off to lalaland.."

love serves.

my contact lenses are expired. last night, whilst putting the right lens on, i noticed pain on my right eye, it went right up to my the top of my eye socket waaaaaaay past the iris. hehe. today, dichee told me i've to get another one cuz i might wind up with a torn cornea. ü

so tonight, i am without my "eye brighteners" & wore my old unupdated glasses w/c donya nazel borrowed. she even got the ring that mike ong gave me. haha. so i'm without my "spectacles" and without THE ring. ü

i listened to dream a little dream mike buble version. and played it over and over. i can't sing it. how can anyone sing it? ü

i totally think our pamangkins would think they have the kewlest titas in the world and they wanna live in the same city with us. haha. che-che lang. assumptionista ko. hi to kring2x and ann2x. :)

--
i am not the bravest person. yesterday when i handed my gift i did not notice that i was counting 1 locomotive 1 and counted up to 25 locomotive 25 and sat on the floor teary-eyed cuz i was too nervous to even give my present. after i got over dumping the gift on the floor i ran towards the trainer's office and told myself whoo-hoo!

--
i have two stories today. about keebler elves. (m's fave cookies are from keebler:)

and i have a treat sometime this week or maybe next week. all i can eat fishballs. i hope m's not serious. i can eat at least a 20php worth of pisbols but not live down a fishball buffet! sky's the limit pa gyd dawwwwwwww.

haha.

--
on domestication. kairi is looking more like mommy now. and well, kenji got another lip injury.and his lower lip bled. he didn't cry. i cried. letse oi.

'My nerves are bad to-night. Yes, bad. Stay with me
'Speak to me. Why do you never speak? Speak.
'What are you thinking of? What thinking? What?
'I never know what you are thinking. Think.'

-T.S. Eliot The Wasteland

smackaroonies!
Rayna

the adventure of alice in wonderland.

"There was a sad fellow over on a bar stool talking to the bartender, who was polishing a glass and listening with that plastic smile people wear when they are trying not to scream."
 -The Long Goodbye

okay, i might need a drink next saturday. kaso i cannot say no to ricky. it's been two weeks of delay nah. and that withstanding invite for small group is much needed to be rsvpd(yawetch nasad kog grammar.) so next week i'm showing up.

i told someone i felt like a ghost. or i am going to be a ghost. i even told angelo i felt downright insecure. i guess it came with the fever i had since wednesday. or maybe because i kinda felt inadequate with everything lately. or maybe am being too uptight or am oa trying so hard to measure up. kaso i think i've been told 1 million times, i am not answerable to people or their harsh judgements or to wut they think of me. i measure up to how He will measure me.

yawn lang.

did not show up for work friday night cuz i had discomfort in breathing. saturday, i walked to the neighborhood's ER and i'm told i have pneumonia, i opted not to be confined cuz no one will baby sit keken.

sunday, the mother and grandmother are in bacolod. i've had a good lecture in values education et al. sigh.

and i went ballistic cuz i wasn't invited to the ball game. haha. and am just smsing old friends cuz i have no life when am broke and ill.

monday, i had to go see another doctor in riverside cuz my antibiotics weren't working. he changed my antibiotics and i had chest xray.(which reminds me to get the results tomorrow..)
despite the bronchial everything, i had to go with dich and look for an agency for keken's nanny. wala pa rin. we also had to do groceries.

babysat ken today. and thank You Lord for love life. if not makabuang this city.

all of a sudden i feel like am the character in raising helen. i have a nephew, a sister, and grandmother to be responsible for. the past two years i've only been responsible for no one but me, then had to be accountable to a boyfy, then now, to a family. nakuratan ko sa show.

the bathroom floor is always wet, meals had to be prepared, and i've to babysit. i am not complaining. God's been teaching me a lesson in patience and how charity really begins at home.

okay, ayoko nang maging dukha.

love muchos,
Raen

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on..

i don't feel like leaving for iloilo tomorrow. i don't like long weekends away from home. i may be a person who gets thrilled at the thought of a travel itinerary but, i honestly do not like the overall experience of terminals, piers, and leaving. i don't mind people leaving me, that's how it is, but, i feel guilty for leaving cuz i've always been running away from things when i don't like facing them.

well this weekend is a bit different. i don't like the thought of leaving dich with kenji and they'll be singing "just the two of us" to themselves for 3 nights, 4 days. kawawa. makaguilty.

pero all is set and this will be fun i know. shine lives up to her name. :) and i don't. cuz i know that i am always shiny. :)

am supposed to write down my anger or my ka-irits on this entry(not today, maybe tomorrow) but, i won't go that low to call people names. cuz it's them who'd normally do that, not me. if people fight dirty, that's them, and that's so not me.

i fight dirtier cuz i do real time libak. :)
--

thank God for paydays. and enough moolah for bills and groceries. :) lisod mag budget. i was yawyawing bigtime at the supermarket this afternoon. and also yawyawed during lunch cuz masking kfc i cannot afford now. i told dich i feel like a pauper now that i will have a family for the first time in my grown-up life. dich would just laugh at me.

she also told me that i don't fight fair. kenji's only two and i am 26 and i make patol. haha.

--

and yeah, nag cross enrol diay ko sa assumption and sa miriam college. haha.

my guy, (oi my guy..buhat buhat storya! assumptionista!) texted me this morning, told me we will sign up for the cotw charity next week. i almost cartwheeled that moment.

ayan. magpakabuotan najud ko.

running late for coffee chitchat,
Raen

ps. title's a robert frost quote.

edits: chris singing whenever i see your smiling face at this very moment. makahilak. :(
and bebs gave me a bottle of vanilla lace cuz nalooy sha cuz i've no boyfy to give me holiday presents. :)

my guy dropped by the lounge whilst nazel and i were having coffee. i can't help but gush nasad. hahaha. feeling prep school!

--

more edits: joe sang his own version of smiling face. i was teary-eyed with his rendition. it was heart-stopping and laugh-worthy. remo shared his yellow cab pizza, and i employed pete's help with excel. ricky invited me for a weekly small group at dana's house, even offered to take me home, i told him i can ask mark if he'd go with me, he told me mark has his family weekly like dut too, sayang. :) God, people are good.

pass it on!

--
last quote:

Any problems that may occur have ultimately been caused by you, because you are responsible for where you are and what you are doing there.

So much of language is unspoken. So much of language is comprised of looks and gestures and sounds that are not words. People are ignorant of the vast complexity of their own communication.

To live everyday as if it had been stolen from death, that is how I would like to live. To feel the joy of life...To separate oneself from the burden, the angst, the anguish that we all encounter every day. To say I am alive, I am wonderful, I am. I am. That is something to aspire to.

The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein

love, trust, and pixie dust

"My subconscious had dredged up exactly the images I’d been trying so desperately to avoid. I was going to have to face them now"

"Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars -- points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."

stephanie meyer. twilight.

am not even sure if i would watch the movie, i might pick up the book. kaso, it's like a teeny bopper vampire thingy. and so undangan.

-
i'm left to babysit ken again. slept whilst on the job. haha. and my poor nephew slept beside me while watching baby einstein. :)

-
i feel terribly light-headed. all the things i smsd to someone this afternoon are true. so i guess it's true when you're told that a day, a week, a month or even a year has its own way of fixing itself.

-
dich and i have encountered a minor system glitch. i'm off to iloilo and the aklan island by friday. dich has a sched for hr orientation. and kenji is left without a nanny. sos.

-
i made pasta for dinner. :) my penguin who loved everything noodley did not even bother to eat it.

-
mr. brightside followed me to the washroom this morning. (assumptionista kaayo ko-FOLLOWED gyud ang keyword!) asked me about my sched and wut am i doing. i got lost in translation mode ko and turned my attention to some gal, i didn't even manage to say gbye. aaaaaaaaaaah. tanga.

charoot. naghahigh school high schoolan naman aketch. :)

i guess i got caught up in thinking about the mangrove planting i even dreamt about mangroves. kaletse. i dreamt about nazel getting drenched in the rain, that i ran after her and saw myself with kathra dancing under the showers.

it simply tells me, mangrove day will be watta day. and it's about time that i get my tush moving and looking for a better city. haha.
(wow, buot buot og interpretation!)

God had been keeping His promises. grabeh ang disappointments when it comes to so many other things in the daily-ness of the every day life. kaso, He amazingly surprises me with the littlest stuff that eventually cover up bad stuff.

love, trust, and pixie dust,
tinkerbell.(haha.)