one more time from the top

     isinusumpa ko ang call center at pag -ibig.

i hate it when i have!

gawk.skeezes.

hahahaha. i had 21 mean things to say to people who mattered and did not really matter but would pronounce yes with a yessh or it'll come out like skeeze..

but, i'm too pms-dehydrated that i'm doing myself a favor before my mind does a rigor mortis.

at least, i fully understand how i should love gelo now.. not complain, keep my mouth shut, and when our relationship gets skeezes, i would tell him to grow up or go out.. di bitaw.. i just understood how things should be.. out of tummy cramps and my pasingit stints if he would ask me wut am feeling.. reply: huhuhuhuhu, sakit gyd yah, daw mapatay ko, huhuhuhuhu.

& maybe get over girls who are too much of a copycat cuz no one is really original, or girls who do not say anything nice or make things they say seem nice, but, they're really not nice at all, or guys who look at you like you're bootylicious and would say it; so instead of shying away, you may as swell krump like a ghetto girl-they'll be scared, or boys who thunk they own the call center industry, but, men should really be looking into their almost bankrupt hacienda cuz the cane industry is in bad shape.. enuf.

plus only about 3 hours sleep, 2 pain killers, and bacolod chicken that's drier than dry wine.. add up the fact that flight is sooo exorbitantly priced becuz of the holidays, plus, that damn schedule for a visa just right after new year, this all spells pms skeeze.

dearLord, on some days, this lovely gawdforsaken city can be full of smelly skeezes.

self check too

i thought only gals i know from my old all girls high school had ringleader syndrome.

pati pod diay guys who came from nowhere school..

 

oh yeah, pride goes before a fall.

sidewalks of life..

it was awful at the mall today, some local do-gooders held a gathering where they'd give free lunch and gifts and other dole-outs to cebuano/bisaya-speaking aetas..

1. washroom, in queue with like 6 or 7 of them, the washroom was jammed, but, they all patiently wait for their turn, wut apalled me was the washroom personnel of robinson's place, she would after at least a minute or two knock on each of the cubicle's door and ask each of them people to go out cuz they seemed done.. one older woman didn't even finish zipping up when she was asked to go out, none of them even had the chance to wash their hands.. to think i totally like the idea of that sensored soap dispenser and faucets, and some cute chinese guy thought that robinson's washroom is kewl.. i looked at them helplessly..

2. they all had to pass thru the escalator, each of them did not know how to use it- if i had to put it bluntly.. disgustingly, the guard on the escalator just looked at them, that's when anger boiled up inside me and felt the need to tell the guard that he cannot just look at them like that, already furious, i told him to assist those women and children going down/using the escalator to avoid accident/injury..because i could not do that myself because i am scared that i might end up slipping with them too..

--

gawd, am like, eto bah ang pilipinas? when this is supposed to be a Christian nation how the feck can we all just stare and not do anything.. we stare because some people do not dress like we do, or some people's color are way darker than our's..

i never stood up for anything or anyone in my life, and i never felt how colored people are discriminated, altho i have been discriminated by people who never had the idea that the person that they are asking to go thru their isp bills is a college graduate, an asian who knew better than them but, for someone who's kapwa mo pinoy to look down on you and not let you use a public washroom properly, not grudgingly would just stare and grunt cuz you don't know how to use an escalator.. parang, that's too much..

and i hope clubs like the rotaract wutever they are, altho they meant well, should've given clear instructions this way people who are not used to the urban jungle would know how to go about it in a safe, merry way..

pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft

kung true to life story lang..

mas labad maminaw ug calls sa agents kesa magtake calls..

why do i feel like walang pag-asa ang ibang agents gumaling sa english?

why

oh

why?

 

btw

muchange plans ako weekend.. feel nako diko mapalitan ug ergats shorts tungod nagspider webs spider webs mi today(gisapot sapot).. tas wala nasad ko pag-asa mapalitan ug white logo shirt na may rhinestones.. grr.. pero ang di nako macarry kay ang thought na hubag ako half na lower aping..

(kung sa ako HMO pa na inclusions sa mga dental chuvaness- dental coverage includes.. inflammation of the gums..)

oh crap. wa na baya ko nagsmoke smoke kay poser ra kaau ko if musmoke smoke ko.. tas mag cge nalang baya ko peppermint tea na lasaw.. ana sila tea can do that! kanang mag pa okay sa imo health.. dental/physical health.. or bseg niatik atik rani sila..

do not mind me.. gayawyaw rko cuz ako journal sa balay kay nabasa sa ulan.. if you remembered missy yatap naxa tungod galeak ako roofs. so diri nalang ko muvent out..

sooo tomorrow.. feel na feel jud nako na maglakaw lakaw look for a dentist who'll drill my teeth and suck up all that's inside my swollen/inflammed gums on my right jaw..(i'm sorry i'm repulsive..)

--

di diay ko gnahan manganak cuz the doctor will cut you daw..

tas the aneastheologist,spell check will poke a huge needle at your lower back and if they're not careful enuf you might get poked at the wrong spot tas you can't walk na daw..

so how's that? diba rational fear na?

--

happy charter day bacolod. ü

okay kick butts..

 

"I've been drunk for about a week now and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library."

-The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald.

pumapatak na naman ang ulan sa bubong ng bahay

ani na kabati ako roof na wala'y ceiling. help/tabang/bulig may day.

craaaaaaaaaaaaap

we locked ourselves out of the pad today.

------

*inis sabay sabunot sa sarili..

 

 

Get this widget | Share | Track details

ataya

surang surangon ko aga pa. if guba ia mata and wa sha gabasa sa coaching notes nako para sa agents nya, dapat mukuha sha'g spectacles na mahalon.

i totally think that if you are clarifying, ask in a manner that you do not raise your tone. cuz if patinisay ra ug boses, mas tinis ako.

ASK NICELY.

For every one who exalts himself will be humbled,
And he who humbles himself will be exalted

-- Luke 14:11

 

*okay, and nindut ako shoes. so

 

oh the places where we go..

in the attempt to search for fresher sheets and blank, empty spaces.. i will be blogging in my blogger account that i've created years ago..(and if i get lonely not seeing anyone there, i might change my mind and put my two cents here..:) photos will still be here.. haha..

see you..

amazing ginamus

 

random, incoherent ramblings

oh, i will continue to discuss food albeit the fact that i am scared of eating muchos daily.. today we had this chicken stew with young green peas on the pods.. and mushrooms.. i wanted to take a photo however, boyfy would think i am being ridiculous/silly..

--

the weather is nice. dang.

                                                               &

miko got me icecream. yey!

--

we both wore white to work tonight. he wore this crisp white long-sleeved shirt.. waaaaaah.. dress the part babyyyy!

 

some gals get to me at times..gals who are always good at making other ppl look bad..

maybe i don't like girls who are full of themselves because i am full of myself too.. well, not quite, but i trust the way i look & am happy with it, and came to terms with my flaws.. i don't like gals who would need constant reassurance that they are IT.. it's über-annoying.. i may be obnoxiously loud at times, but, i am not like some girls who are subtley patagad and does not have the personality to go with the pretty cherub face.. enuf said.. next!

--

i may not be able to go home to cebu(taking gelo with me supposedly) this september, the trip would cost both our arms and legs..i miss my sisters everyday, but, i better be investing in huge things rather than end up throwing my hands up in the sky and asking Him to show me the mon-naaaaaaayyy..

and i don't like being asked whether bacolod is a better place to live in cuz miko is around.. the answer would still be no.. i wanted cebu and davao and some place else.. i wanted to pack up my bags and do something else.. but, i should stick with the city who gave me this wonderful opportunity to work at night minus the daily traffic.. plus i'm paid decently..

miko is a cherry on top of the ice cream,nonetheless..

                                                            &

i don't like discussing my relationship with other ppl & i don't like being asked.. that's why i keep a blog and a friendster profile because i may rant all i want, post all the photos i want.. i mean, i will talk if i wanted to..i talk a whole lot too y'know..so there..

well, so long cebu.. here's a website i got from karen.aol-- himantayon.com..

--

The main problem with this great obsession for Saving Time is very simple: you can't save time. You can only spend it. But you can spend it wisely or foolishly.



The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff

--

Michael says:

   siponon caller ko

Michael says:

dw miga ko

Michael says:

haha

//RAEN// says:

hehe

//RAEN// says:

iloveyou

Michael says:

love you..

Michael says:

      mwah..

 

life as it is..

l You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. l Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. l It's just a matter of paying attention to this miracle. l          

 

..wanting to take that badly needed slash much-deserved leave.. when? i wouldn't know..

the pad is effing HOTness.. gelo and i were baked and toasted and crisped.. both of us have all sort of heat rashes..  zero sleep in the morning and the afternoon.. woke up to a "noooooo work please" mode..

--

oh God. some people really should get over themselves.. iritasyon galores..but, belligerence, i will do away with.. yopaks ang mairits.. :D

--

today's beef sopas and one million bottles of coke.. crappp.. my bladder sputtered and revolted against it.. i've been swearing much too much..

 

oh last sunday, i dreamt of gathering pearls with my sibs, more like harvesting pearls.. the only pearl i wasn't able to grab was the heart-shaped pearl cuz the oyster closed.. but, i got tons of them.. :D

Pearls

A dramatic increase in wealth and social position are forecast in a dream featuring pearls, unless the string broke or you lost them, in which case you may expect some reverses before the advances. However, if you managed to gather them up or restring them, the reverses will be minor and the delay inconsequential.

Oyster

Opening oysters in your dream is a warning that you have misplaced your confidence and are in danger of being cheated by someone you trust; reconsider any dealings you might be contemplating with friends. Eating oysters is a sign of good luck in love affairs, but if your main concern is business, this dream suggests that you will have to be more energetic and/or aggressive in asserting yourself if you want to succeed.

--

i somehow got clued in.. ♥

and i want these: images from the sartorialist :D

lalalatida lalala...

the world turns madly on

naa ko bulinggit tungod sge kog hinilak.. nganu man masking feeling nimu lipay kaau ka cuz at least you've made the best decision, (altho a bit rash) pero you'd still feel terrible cuz you've been lying the whole time? and until now you're still partly living the half-truth.. (and i know that this entry does not make sense)..pinisti.undangan na ang pagdadrama!

--

jeremy got me and czar a hershey's chocolate bar today.. :) grabeh nami ka spoiled..

--

patay na ako bloodhound diay.. :( cuz nangita sya ug land line na pldt na hulog hulog ug piso..

--

weekend had been most surreal. this would be the worst understatement i've ever written//said// & i feel like i am such a terrible person..

--

last night was the best jollibee dinner everrrrrrr.. i'd remember that until i go home to cebu..

my eyes hurt like hell from crying.. mura nako'g buang.. i would cry tas i'd laugh tas mucry smore.. pinisti mabyuda sayu.. hahay..

--

dichee called to tell me that kenji can walk/stand at barely 10 months.. yey..

“Over the course of the average lifetime you meet a lot of people.
Some of them stick with you through thick and thin.
Some weave their way through your life and disappear forever.

But once in awhile someone comes along who earns a permanent place in your heart”   

if big mouths

came with big open minds..

 

-

-

-

i wouldn't complain any more cuz i fell in love with this city again.. ♥

 

slide on over and accept fate (it just might be a beautiful thing)

 

 

 

Oh Rob Thomas, you speak the truth.. ilovethee.. ♥

 

Dyo get the feeling when nothing seems new and shiny anymore; even if you’d hit the beach within the next few hours, you still feel blank and awfully comatose? And you’d rather choose sulking in a corner smoking your wits out til your last brain cell gets all dried up. Is it me or is it the weather? Again I know I am not to complain, nonetheless, I hate the fact that I’ve to wait til the next payday to go home to cebu.. like hellooooo banking gods.. internet millions gods or goddesses, shower me with moolah blessings so I can see my darling nephew all black and blue with bruises on his pink chubby cheeks because his mommy did not see him fall off the bed.. see, there’s nothing noble about being poor?

 

 

Who am I to complain when I haven’t had a harrowing experience to go thru so far? And all that I have is boredom/boredom/boredom// or laziness- too lazy to work// too tired to get up in the middle of the night to listen to ppl and pick on them thru their calls..

 

The overcast skies of Bacolod is turning me nuts.. I hate this season.. and now, totally, inspite of the learning and printer/tech education that I got from this city, I sooooooo totally regret everrrrrrrr moving, and being impatient..

 

 

Screw my badge too cuz til now, it wouldn’t lemme in on operations floor..

 

I think I am going to be sick over the weekend.. like sick-sick.. say hello to flu during the rain.. // I am sorry if I may say that I am nice.. and some people can be ridiculously stupid.. I do not or would deliberately not say hi or ask how you are simply becuz I don’t like you.. AS A PERSON.. and I think a polite conversation, you do not deserve..

 

That’s the simple truth there is.. and please people quit asking me questions when you know better.. I am an ass and a half and a ditz.. I am not nice even if I declare that I am//

 

--

 

Today I learned milk induces production of serotonin, which would result in making you sleepy.. haaaaaaaaaaay..and that it’s okay to not have money til your 30s.. and it’s about time that you grow up when you’re 30 cuz at that time, you’d need a financial nest egg to get a home.. or insurance or the works..wukits, am not making sense..

 

 

 

 

 

RAEN

 

Sunny days keepin' the clouds away

I think we're coming to a clearing and a brighter day

 

So far away. Still I think they say

The wait will make the heart grow stronger or fonder

I can't quite remember anyway

 

So if you're waitin' for love

Well it's a promise I'll keep

If you don't mind believing that it changes everything

Then time will never matter

 

why don't they talk about the weather like other girls?

(hehe.. kathra..)

i got 9 hours of sleep and my mood's all crappy.. is it me or is it the city?

--

and my badge wouldn't lemme in ops floor!

--

got breakfast with czar & bryan from jollibee after shift today.. and then we got iced tea at mama maria's to catch up with sandra, butterfly, ej, and shallie..

--

dich needs rehab for her back..awwwwwww..

kenji fell off the bed. mother was crying and his mommy cried too. he cried the hardest. maybe people shouldn't be having babies at 23; that they get so attached to the infant they wouldn't let it sleep in its own crib..

awa, my penguin is now kagirun to the bones, and half a face is puffed up..

-- dich on kenji:

ning ning kau ang kabugat ni happy feet …. He can dance na chi and he can do close open…pg gus2 nya food he’ll say maman…if milk or h2o…meme….he tried to catch his shadow pa tlga khapon…cge gud ktawa mudra….smart kid daw….he likes music pa dyud… and cellphones galore…and dghan sya kagid dhil sa insect bites and prickly heat…hehehe…

 

--

 

 

 

tea & sympathy

 

 

 

Fare thee well
Trade in all our words for tea and sympathy
Wonder why we tried, for things that could never be
Play our hearts lament, like an unrehearsed symphony

Not intend
To leave this castle full of empty rooms
Our love the captive in the tower never rescued
And all the victory songs
Seem to be playing out of tune

But it's not the way
That it has to be
Don't trade our love for tea and sympathy
'Cause it's not the way
That it has to be

You begin
And all your words fall to the floor and break like china cups
And the waitress grabs a broom and tries to sweep them up
I reach for my tea and slowly drink in

--

 

 

I sat on my bed late in the afternoon with a cup of hot lipton tea and a couple of days old garlic toast & tormented myself with wanting mint ice cream from kuppa ll well yeah, if vincent were a part of the dailiness it would be easy to go get that mint ice cream or gobble all the sushi there’s made in the world or take a platter of that raw gingery beef or not worry about going to work on a cab & not mumble when the cab driver stinks or think about how lucky I am to get a cab that smelled okay and the driver’s not too chitchatty while am saying a lil prayer going to work for the fear that I might just lose sanity and walk out of it.. ll sometimes I wonder if I would be happier if I were like him or his friends- if I had money.. ll haha.. I loathe the fact that all I got is enuf most times  ll and that dich does not have med insurance at this point when she broke her back accidentally carrying kenji-that lil biik who grew heavy, he can break his mommy’s back and they do not have insurance ll well yeah, wut would I give to have his or his friends’ money? ll

 

--

 

Lemme go around that train to see if it breaks down..

 

--

 

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting..”

e. e. cummings

 

 

♥

 

 

a tiny lil trainwreck

 

i promised am never ever gonna try uploading 100 photos in friendster only to delete them.. friendster gets screwed up like that at times, it's taxing to delete photos..

--

so okay, if you want to feel miserable go read mccourt, first read angela's ashes, but, if you were an idiot like i, go read tis first.. ilike how he say's noone gives a fiddler's fart, michael what's left of him, how he says biscuit instead of cookies.. and how he ate nothing but bananas.. and the NYU experience of existentialism and a. camus and suicide.. and how catholicism seemed to be the true faith & no guys should be dating a jew or a protestant gal.. haha..

 

reclusion perpetua seemed to have me sink my teeth into his memoir..

--

and i realised the shallowness abounding about me.. and how i think kiss is right about hair colors and the way you'd loathe seeing the roots of yer hair in a darker color..

--

 

thank YOU for making me happy today..  ♥ haha..

--

 

 

jukir..

 

--

i finally resolved that time can not heal wounds but, you know that you already came to a place of conclusion and all that bull in time's own terms..

 

haha.. paksit my forehead for all these! miss estee did not even hide the damn wound..

 

--

if johnny were as old as i am, he'd be my best guy buddy.. this time it's him who saw the booger.. i hate colds..

 

♥

 

i would not miss that flight.. i still am hoping i'd see you somewhere bahala na if they call that place butuan or iloilo and all gals would ask how's bacolod for you.. i would not care but, thanks to nazel for making me see some things am not seeing.. haha.. like who's hotter than hell..(ni-a nasad ang insecurities..)

 

--

ayyyyyy sa fans na wa nako textan.. sorry ingon sa dwende cuz my phone is a piece of crap jud, this i promise..& the whole weekend ako-a ituy ra ako kastorya.. toinks..

 

 

excuse me if there are some things in life that i do not want to hear about.. not even mentioning that it's not politicaly correct to ask a person if this situation affects her or not.. it still affects me.. that's the truth.. and i wouldn't really care if all else goes chummy chummy and am not one of those with the same pack that they're in.. am not losing anything precious..but some things i still would rather not hear..am not gonna go rant about how or what friendship is or when loyalty is at play or something like it cuz if i'll start am not gonna end up blogging like a madwoman..

--

done..

 

i got me my neopet today, named him kenjisanlove, it's a green tiny dragon.. yey.. :)

 

 

 

 

cut grass

 

Cge na ach dri ka nalang beh.. para happy ko ulit.. hanap ta house, buy ta fridge, and all the works..tenchoo.. muchy..Mwah.. be safe aweiz ky c kuya cpus giholdup sa jip..badness..

 

Not a real happy news from home.. waaaaaaaaaaaah, my little sister needs me.. feels good to be needed by the real needy & not by nitwits who make needs out of irrational whims.. What does all this say about Cebu? That it’s a city known for outbursts of piety but most of the locals are dukha that all they can resort to is either to sell red recycled candles by the cathedral or rob people?

--

Hello local governance. If there is such a thing as cebu death squad then there’d be noone smoking pot or no call center employees would fear going to work in a jeepney at 4am..

 

--

Today I stood feeble in His presence.. yes Lord, you may take it all away. See how tall a Jericho I’ve to move or go over.. that I will lay down my priorities to You so You may help me sort them out.. thank You for being constant and steadfast no matter how simyat I may be..

 

--

Wukits, I just wanted to say that I should lose Saturday night-out before they get too old or before people might lose luster..that I should make it a point reclaim my Sundays, that I should set my priorities straight before 2008, and quit people who have baggages cuz in the end I will end up with more compromise..

 

 

charoot, this has got to be the most incoherent entry i've written so far..

 

--

BTW, i had a KFC replacement meal today.. i know, it's been days that i had been wanting to do KFC.. czar and i ended up at mcdo lacson.. before i even think about leaving this city, i just wanted to say out loud that i wish every street in the country looked like lacson.. it's clean and almost maka-happy..

--

i hate mark today.. 2 days ko sya hate-ness..

--

pahabol bitch fit:: before this guy even think about making lait about wut am wearing, i wish he would realize what an idiotic ego-centric maniacal bastard he is, and am stupid enuf to think i even LIKED him before.. and it's forgivable that he is always broke and never pays back what he owes me for his cab ride home.. to be fair he buys his booze-kudos.. and all that i wanted to say is that his shoes looked funny and balik balik iya shirts.. please lang.. Ü

and some gals are much idiotic for being thrilled that he'd say hi to them.. like helloooooo imong nawng, kelangan ba talagang sabihin na pinansin mo sila? again, helloo imong bagtak with wings and nawng (in that pabalik balik polo), kakapoy..

 

keyword recluse muna.  ♥

 

"In a world where vows are worthless, where making a pledge means nothing, where promises are made to be broken, it would be nice to see words come back into power."

--Chuck Palahniuk, Lullaby

& so..

"I beg you, as much as I can, dear sir, to be patient to all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."
-Letters to A Young Poet by Rilke

--

mao diay nang ingon ni rainier.. ♥ i missed my devotional today.. i know.. i lacked sleep yesterday, so i slept 8 hours today.. nostalgia is a bitch talaga..

--

dear God, keep me interested at work.. lest i go crazy.. i hate mark's rest days.. i hate him today too.. promise..

czar gave me two grey tops today! i loved the beaded short sleeved- nindut panaptun..♥ senkyu ginamus..