sometimes a look in someone’s eyes

realized how lucky i am to be spending late nights working and having coffee that makes your throat dry and have lots and lots of carbonated drinks and lots of gossiping and exchanges of life stories about friendship, family, motherhood, being a daughter, relationship, and love.

i love my girl friends and the guy friends who i meet along the way.

things would change in a matter of months, years. my 4 years in this city whose name literally meant a little hump had been wonderful. sometimes i wish i could stay longer and retire here. sometimes i wish i were anywhere but here.

tonight, the city is my friend. and it's lovely.

One of the strange things about living in the world is that it is only now and then one is quite sure one is going to live forever and ever and ever. One knows it sometimes when one gets up at the tender solemn dawn-time and goes out and stands out and throws one’s head far back and looks up and up and watches the pale sky slowly changing and flushing and marvelous unknown things happening until the East almost makes one cry out and one’s heart stands still at the strange unchanging majesty of the rising of the sun—which has been happening every morning for thousands and thousands and thousands of years. One knows it then for a moment or so. And one knows it sometimes when one stands by oneself in a wood at sunset and the mysterious deep gold stillness slanting through and under the branches seems to be saying slowly again and again something one cannot quite hear, however much one tries. Then sometimes the immense quiet of the dark blue at night with the millions of stars waiting and watching makes one sure; and sometimes a sound of far-off music makes it true; and sometimes a look in someone’s eyes.

— Frances Hodgson Burnett

girl made of salt water

I have taken a pill to kill
The thin
Papery feeling.
— Sylvia Plath, Ariel

• In bullets this afternoon:

• So this girl in tumblr bothers me. She posts aplenty of gruesome things amidst pretty ones in tumblr and then labels herself as a girl made of salt water.

• I've been up for a little over two hours when in fact I should be sleeping. And am feeling dehydrated.

• Oh, why would girls go thru the trouble of sticking a diet widget on their phone menus and starve themselves?

• Pretentious little thing.

• Acceptance of a burgeoning torso - I changed my mind, I won't succumb to it. Gimme 12 days. Ghaaaaaaaaaa.

• Did I say I'm feeling dehydrated without exaggeration and almost puke over a small platter of french fries? Not good.

• I wish I were a compounder for Lush. I lovelovelove this store!

• Is tinkering with photoshop. Putting the geek on! ü

margarita

I would like to think that no one would die anymore if we all believed in daisies
but the worms know better, don’t they?
They slide into the ear of a corpse
and listen to his great sigh.
— Anne Sexton, The Fury of Flowers and Worms

raena ballerina

i've been blogging my heart out for more than half a decade now. it's been fun all along.

marchraenmaker on lj -circa 2004- sparse entries in 2008

bianca2x on multiply - circa 2005- a few entries this year, keeping it mostly to store pictures.

raeyna galenga- circa 2005 but only wrote on it in 07.

raenbow bright/ fairy ears powered by blogspot - clothes blog 2010

furthermore on blogger - present sylvia plath blackberrying

amazingginamus on twitter - micro blogging dailies since 2009

queen frou on tumblr - reblogs and tumblr logging 2010

amazingginamus on tumblr/ fxckyeahkimchi - food reblogs and lafang adventures.

how wonderful it is to write and ctrl c and ctrl v. we can all breathe easy. ;p

parading my exhibitionist self

my lovely archive from my tumblrlogs. ♥

oh the girls you find when you're not looking!

met the coolest girl. who was sooooo broken and crazed and screwed up like i. and was unapologetic like dut. when you see or meet someone who is not as perfect as you are and relates to you without judging, you know you found a kindred spirit.

i like her. tons.

my february

i wonder why i did not cry so hard, or wallowed in misery, or tried my hardest to put on a happy face. i am disconcertingly quite happy.

yes, i do laugh a lot, i smile a lot, i get upset in class, i can yell, fall flat on my tush laughing without a care in the world.
oh no, i'm not happy it's over and had to let go. letting go of a person you cared about is difficult. then again, this time it's a bit easier when you are given the reason to let go even if you know for a fact that you're not ready to let go yet. at the same time, things are in the correct perspective now; yes, even if it sounds mercenary- some people and relationships are for practice and for the mean time. ☻

furthermore

From my Multiply. Oh boy, I liked wallowing.