this.

"There is a feeling that I had Friday night after the homecoming game that I don ‘t know if I will ever be able to describe except to say that it is warm. Sam and Patrick drove me to the party that night, and I sat in the middle of Sam’s pickup truck. Sam loves her pickup truck because I think it reminds her of her dad. The feeling I had happened when Sam told Patrick to find a station on the radio. And he kept getting commercials. And commercials. And a really bad song about love that had the word “baby” in it. And then more commercials. And finally he found this really amazing song about this boy, and we all got quiet.

Sam tapped her hand on the steering wheel. Patrick held his hand outside the car and made air waves. And I just sat between them. After the song finished, I said something.

“I feel infinite.”

And Sam and Patrick looked at me like I said the greatest thing they ever heard. Because the song was that great and because we all really paid attention to it. Five minutes of a lifetime were truly spent, and we felt young in a good way. I have since bought the record, and I would tell you what it was, but truthfully, it’s not the same unless you're driving to your first real party, and you're sitting in the middle of a pickup with two nice people when it starts to rain.”

Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

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i wish i had more time to spend on reading books, and one book i wanna find myself reading this month should be the Bible cuz i hadn't had time to read it since Bacolod. and i've been missing church, in my two years here, i hadn't found a church. and i think gelo is okay with tagging along with me should i find my church.

quote above just made me came to an awareness that i badly needed the company of good friends as well. i miss steff and joey. :(

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gelo's folks wants us to move to their place mid-summer. i told him am not going anywhere with him unless we are married. i think that is fair enough. i wanted my own place. i am not keen on having so many people around me. i am okay with sharing and dealing with people every so often, it's just that i am okay if i were alone too. it's always better that way.

there are some things in a relationship that i still do not understand. and maybe i won't ever understand all of them things.
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gelo's team building tomorrow. i honestly do not want to go. :( i went with him and some of his teammates to get booze in sm and gaisano. about 2k's worth of booze. grovers. these guys will die alcoholic.