saving my life in unlikely ways

told gelo about people with loosened screws, asked him to promise me that if we were ever gonna get married he should take care of me in case i go psycho. he said, he's used to me driving him up the wall. so, i guess that's a promise. ♥

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mental disorder is a sad thing. even alcholism is a sad thing. people have monsters in them.. i know i have this love-hate relationship with jeremy(friend, baby boss) but, at times he makes sense too. i'm too angry yesterday then he told me not to take everyone personaly, cuz them people are just made dut way. some are tactless, some have monsters. and he told me about certain brain disorders that affected some ppl, he said drugs are just temporary relief however, it's someone's relationship with Christ that they should nurture this way they can fight the lil monsters inside their heads. made me think.

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so i have lil monsters, and at times work gets the better of me too. and some people are just plainly stupid and point fingers(as i do that often too, so am stupid at times too and libakera- haha:) albeit these, i were directed to this verse today:

Ephesians 6:7 (King James Version)

With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men..

simply put, work is not supposed to be done for other people's glory/ appreciation/ commendation, kudos for a good job should come from your God cuz you are only accountable to Him, when men question you, you know that in your heart you are making/working your best for your God.

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this should be the most incoherent entry i've written so far.

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anyway, i am praying for work in singapore, thailand, or the states. i wanted this said/written out loud so that it will easily be materialized. :)

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so, am doing side by side coaching with the new wave on transition queue. jumpy and scared. i wish i could manage to say the right things. diw Lord, i did not know am THIS insecure! and i thought callcenter work is peanut.

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Most of our attempts to translate our innermost feelings do no more than relieve us of them by drawing them out in a blurred form which does not help us to identify them.

Marcel Proust, "Swann's Way"

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