jelly beans

I'll have a vodka," I said.
The man looked at me more closely. "With anything?"
"Just plain," I said. "I always have it plain."
I though I might make a fool of myself by saying I'd have it with ice or gin or anything. I'd seen a vodka ad once, just a glass full of vodka standing in the middle of a snowdrift in a blue light, and the vodka looked clear and pure as water, so I thought having vodka plain must be all right. My dream was someday ordering a drink and finding out it tasted wonderful.

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

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i had the weirdest dream today. i was brought to the huge boat that capsized last time it stormed and saw yatap people inside, i saw blood smeared on the walls. it seemed soooo true that i was even tasked to take the dead bodies back to their families. it was the strangest most morbid dream i ever came across with. whilst in the showers, i could still feel my heart thumping and would not close my eyes afraid that the walls might have blood as well. i hate dreams like such. and i loathe it that our house is too big for us now. at times all sorts of things scare my wits out of me. the splattering of the rain on our roof, dogs howling, the loud gusts of wind, and these kind of dreams.

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boy crush suddenly says hi and is suddenly all nice. i was walking on sunshine, but, some people can be terribley telenovela contrabida. so i oughta stop crushing on people.

so that means aside from putting up with baho unhygienic agents and the fact that diko kabalos cuz i'm always humot when am floorwalking- altho nakabalos ko kay gihagit ko nila cuz most of them smelled like crapola i asked eman to get me shawarma and placed one million onions on it then floorwalked without brushing my teeth. dah! kabalos ko nila.

back to boy craziness, the rich boy crush does not have a gal and is a haciendero's offspring. haha. i shall introduce him to girl friends who doesn't have boyfy. pero the girl friend should like the boy next door look.

then me and my big mouth tah-day, i told one agent that if he were straight i'd go out with him, it turns out he is straight and told me point blank that he isn't gay. i almost wanted the earth to swallow me.

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butterfly and i were uber "nice" today. volunteered to get other people mushroom burgers from shell select. i liked convenient stores and groceries. food is a blessing. :)

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gelo made ride and bacon for breakfast after shift. :)

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i checked old pictures from last year, they remind me of sooooo many things that gelo and i shared. so somehow, even if we did not grow up together, we already have a shared history.