a burst of happiness

burst shots from my phone. (:
indulge me.

Kenji, what joy!

Feb. 27, 2010 at the groceries and Mcdonald's SM.
Keken update: he can speak in snippets na. Boy is he growing fast. And now, he is 3 feet tall!

before i turn 28 lemme remind myself that

i'm not a wussy because

 
i did not throw fits when i learned that my parents went bankrupt and that we're losing our family home

when we moved to a much smaller family home i did not weep

that i had to learn how to take the jeepney and i no longer had a driver at 16

that i had to work the washing machine at age 15 and learned that laundry is a happy thing

and that at 17 i had to learn how to work the rice cooker or i'd die of hunger or just eat lettuce

and that i went to uni poor and yet; i sure fit in with a good crowd and met great life-long friends even if i wasn't enrolled in college of business and governance business administration major in management because most of the enrollees there are wealthy but had brains the size of mosquitos

even if my parents are separated, i'm made whole by the very memory of them

[oh yes, i'm a good daughter who is not capable of breaking their hearts]
 

i'll never be a wussy because

i relocated to two cities alone without knowing anyone

i survived family tragedies and illnesses

i learned to write using my right hand when i'm supposed to be left-handed and turned out to be ambidextrose instead of being diagnosed with dyslexia

that at a situation that compromised my being, i could only kid- hey did you get the right angle so when they see me, i'd look pretty?

so there's not a negative feedback from work, not a little heart ache, not a person who can faze me.

 

i'll be 28. and i'll recover.
  

Sushi Date

Rai Rai with Nazel this afternoon.
2/22/2010
Photos from her BB and my LG. Lol.

Daily

Ha-ha, day by day, I wake up to Keken's sapot mode and fractured Dinos. (:
2/21-22

it's a crew thing

nightcap because..
*good girls don't necessarily finish last
*i've been in the bubble for so long, i keep forgetting how lovely this city is when the bright lights are on
*these boys loved love songs and rod stewart and jason mraz and my best friend's wedding ost rather than metallica
*i don't go clubbing anymore
*the night is young and so are we
*the crew would be the best thing that has happened to me this 2010
*it's february and i did not get a single red rose
*it's date night
*i don't get sms too often and the crew would sms that they're there for me
*mitzi and i would make a good team with the crew at least 3 steps behind our tush
*golden field is love, haha
*not so cheap pork barbeque seemed delectable when ordered and eaten at an obscure grill house
*the adham's i know of is a place with booze and weed, not a lodge- hahahaha, shout-out to cookie
*no one can say you've had too much cigarettes
*jp says- people are hisa and it makes them happy to stay hisa
*i'm happy to be
yeah. (:
[and with this, i'm facebooking again. lol.]

hello stranger.

wow, i've missed multiply. tons. ♥

so how are things lovies?

lately, it hasn't been coming up roses. i just wanna say that i'm tired of facebook and the self-indulgence of some people there. yofax.

so i'm back here. lol.

to self-indulge as well. haha.

 

 

Riverside Hospital, one more time(from the top. ü)

Keken's out of Riverside. Today, baby boy's fine and cranky and lovely altogether. Thank You Father for seeing us through.

Again.

Living with ITP.

Keken threw up from 2am,3am,and 4am. Dichee woke me up telling me it's getting worse. We both decided to take him to Riverside Hospital (again, in two weeks' time) because he has fever. His platelet count dropped to 200++ from a 478 last Saturday.

Condition has stabilized but, Kenji is really cranky.
Please keep our little one in your prayers.
The hospital is still funny in a way, other doors had "congratulations, it's a boy" sign outside, some simply had the doctor's name, our's were a. face mask b. ran out of face mask, ask the nurse before getting inside.

Yessssssssss, our patient is very ill.

Mura'g malumos ko. Gikumos ako dughan. Kalooy kay Keken. Dami na naman shots to go through.

But, today was nonetheless a little fun, we were dancing to the tune of High School Musical. And singing pataka lyrics. ♥

God's good, all the time.



Sometimes God puts us through the experience and discipline of darkness to teach us to hear and obey Him. Song birds are taught to sing in the dark, and God puts us into "the shadow of His hand" until we learn to hear Him (Isaiah 49:2 ). - My Utmost for His Highest.

eat cake ♥

Even though the crowd scares me and the people who would walk leisurely without any sense of purpose at the grocery alley make me go nuts, I braved SM to get chocolate mousse for ourselves. Yeah, red ribbon is still love. ü

love serves

pre-valentine's date with keken et dichee today at the hematologist's clinic. ♥ platelet count: a whopping 478. wohoo!
steroids intake will be tapered. Dear God you are love.

meet the bartins

photos today
cpus visited.

kenji's a bit bloated but is looking really cute. don't grow up too fast baby.

She's come undone

A Woman's Shortcomings by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
She has laughed as softly as if she sighed,
She has counted six, and over,
Of a purse well filled, and a heart well tried -
Oh, each a worthy lover!
They "give her time"; for her soul must slip
Where the world has set the grooving;
She will lie to none with her fair red lip:
But love seeks truer loving.

She trembles her fan in a sweetness dumb,
As her thoughts were beyond recalling;
With a glance for one, and a glance for some,
From her eyelids rising and falling;
Speaks common words with a blushful air,
Hears bold words, unreproving;
But her silence says - what she never will swear -
And love seeks better loving.

Go, lady! lean to the night-guitar,
And drop a smile to the bringer;
Then smile as sweetly, when he is far,
At the voice of an in-door singer.
Bask tenderly beneath tender eyes;
Glance lightly, on their removing;
And join new vows to old perjuries -
But dare not call it loving!

Unless you can think, when the song is done,
No other is soft in the rhythm;
Unless you can feel, when left by One,
That all men else go with him;
Unless you can know, when unpraised by his breath,
That your beauty itself wants proving;
Unless you can swear "For life, for death!" -
Oh, fear to call it loving!

Unless you can muse in a crowd all day
On the absent face that fixed you;
Unless you can love, as the angels may,
With the breadth of heaven betwixt you;
Unless you can dream that his faith is fast,
Through behoving and unbehoving;
Unless you can die when the dream is past -
Oh, never call it loving!

TR Guimaras Jan 11, 2010 shift whilst I'm figuring out Apple Mac's TOS.

My One and Only.

For Shobe and Ma. Tambok na ayu Koko Keken.

tweeds

last thursday's shift. i thunk.

blackberrying

cuz i happened to be very depressed lately and all i wanted is some consistency and redundancy in my life.
and that i might turn myself into jane austen or sylvia plath one day.
and that i happen to not memorize a poem by miss plath or finish a book [or even watch a film based on miss austen's writings] by miss jane.

but kever. i looked as pasty as a yema could be
and most of them work days, i stare at the pc and sigh.
and fork a slice of bob's choc'lit cake and say loudly, God I am grateful- this done very slowly and tearfully.

oh yeah, maka ba-ug najud being in piayaland.
take me away.

[from last night's shift. 2/10/2010]

hello love

While Keken and I are both coughing our lungs out.

Saturday afternoon, January 6, 2010

cookie's birthday

jan. 25, 2010

Riverside room number 349

Crazy weekend it was. Keken had been having intermittent fever since he got back from Cebu. When I got home Friday morning, Dichee tells me we're packing for the hospital. My own flu and colds took a backseat for the little one.
It was tough to have no family in this tiny city. When we got to the hospital we were told that it could be a possible case of streps.

The next day we were asked to get blood platelets, we couldn't find a bag of platelets from red cross, we were texting people and wind up having the APO (fraternity) give us blood.

We were told that there could be leukemic processes inside Kenji or it could be ITP.

Thank God they ruled out leukemia after they got him a bone marrow test.
Riverside was very efficient, most of the staff were friendly. The hematologist whom Kenji will be seeing in the next 6 months until remission is motherly and religiously visited him.

When we got out today, most of the nurses said gbye to Kenji. Some even dropped by the room the night before just to say goodbye. One even hugged the little boy.

Oh yes, the kindness of a stranger can do so much. (:

And praise God for good friends and loved ones who saw us through prayers.

January 29 to Feb. 2, 2010