le sigh le love

told gelo a year ago, we broke up today.. kalokring these days when i have to wait weekend after weekend. sometimes he would sms or call. sometimes i tell him i'd pack up and go to dumaguete and be crazy. i don't know. sometimes i think it's just female hormones. not even insecurity or being lonesome.

it's sad and odd and strange and beautiful how things changed over the past year. wala nako bruises allover and i'm finally okay being okay. and dating and then not dating to dating and really not dating.

then again there are days when i really miss him. potanginang miss him. like today. :(

shutterbabe

i've a major shift change and maybe an upcoming major job description change. am happy with the latter cuz i might be moved to curriculum development for the mean time. that means i won't have to stand up and do side by side coaching slash monitoring that means my poor knees will be saved from having to kneel down when i coach cuz it's a "have to" when we coach, and i can wear pumps to work because i might be sitting all day and i will be spared from varicose veins from standing up all night assisting new agents on the floor. i am happy!



my life is as exciting as moaning myrtle the ghost, yesterday, i was so bored i wind up organizing my closet, making beef pasta with mushrooms for me and gelo, and torn between wanting to do the laundry or sleeping. i let go of laundry. what gets me when arranging my clothes are the fact that some of the whites have yellow stains when i haven't used them even and i have to wash them again. soooo makasapowt.
i took photos from yesterday too. not really good ones but, i thought my clothesline looked bubble gummy-ish from all the pinks hanging on it. ü


i have trainer's workshop running til friday. i'm not really sure wut to feel about our facilitator but, i thunk am getting really valuable info from the workshop kahet nakakapressure.



am gonna be on a pizza date with angelo today.ü we're not really seeing each other regularly but, we are working on things. it's good that he has photography and iver. and hopefully that makes him realize that he is 21 and should come to terms with his own self without having me in tow. i miss him alot these days. and some things are awkwardly different already. but, who cares. we're starting on a clean slate i guess.



love keeps no records of wrongs. ayan.



gelo suggested that i go home friday. if there's a flight home friday then i can do that. i guess. but, i don't want to be harrassed. so i might opt for saturday. can't wait.






the unggoy looks like gelo- a shutterbabe. :)



today: i left home without my contacts or my glasses on, the whole ordeal is crazy cuz everything is a blur. anyway, i wanted to stress how lucky i am cuz i left the right lens barely soaked in the solution, and it didn't even dry up. lakiemeh maxado. ü


‘I always feel as if I’m struggling to become someone else. As if I’m trying to find a new place, grab hold of a new life, a new personality. I suppose it’s part of growing up, yet it’s also an attempt to re-invent myself. By becoming a different me, I could free myself from everything. I seriously believed I could escape myself – as long as I made the effort. But I always hit a dead end. No matter where I go I still end up me. What’s missing never changes. The scenery may change but I’m still the same old incomplete person. The same missing elements torture me with a hunger I can never satisfy. I think that lack itself is as close as I’ll ever come to defining myself.’


Haruko Murakami


FYI- IF I DON'T REPLY I DON'T HAVE LOAD. ü



happy 2nd birthday KENJI LOVE! MUAH!

asdf

Date:     01/27/2008 12:37 pm
Subject:Re: asd
Message:     
hahahaha. wala ah. wala ko gana magwa na.
mike wrote:
go clubbing go clubbing ka da ky duklon tka.. nugay da inom ha.. duklon ta gd ka babe.. lapit ka na bala mpuli d..

photos on film.

photos i stole from angelo's site. oh well. i don't think he'd mind. last three photos were from his bff iver.

hola!

She says, "Don't do what you want." She says, "Do what you don't want. Do what you're trained not to want."
It's the opposite of following your bliss.
..."Do the things that scare you the most."
Invisible Monsters, Chuck Palahniuk
--
some days are like the best and the worst days of your life.

after 3 weeks of not seeing and speaking to each other gelo and i met for lunch at business inn, i ordered kansi and watermelon slush for us. :) 3 weeks felt like 3 years of absence. it's hard not to hug him or hold his hand or gush at how his hair is growing in the right places now and how good he looked and how thin and it's hard not to worry about him because i still think the world of him and wants the best for him and hopefully he gets the ong ancestral house and millions now that he is the only proper heir to it. haha. and he'll do okay and he'll grow up nicely and i wish he'd show up for work every night and be good at it and speak english correctly and we'll work on being better friends than ex lovers holding grudges against each other.

today i learned to let go. although,selfish as i may sound i still want angelo to hang around. it's partly because i miss his company and how his laughter fills the apartment and still resonates in my head, and how he gets on his maoy mode though at times it's either embarrassing and infuriating i miss those times. this afternoon, i told him we should've been asleep at this time, and he says, nagmaoy na tani ko cuz i can't sleep.
in between tears i told him that i can't remember him saying that he loves me first, he tells me he has been telling me that he loves me..
i know he did. oh well, things are looking up brightly for both of us i guess.

am back to work. i've been absent last friday. i looked forward to work because sunshine smsd that she'll show up and is bringing meringue and butterscotch from biscocho house iloilo. i brought butter popcorns and we popped both bags correctly. then ER termed her. it's hard not to miss her. i miss ana too. both girls are my fave agents by far.

my ears hurt. they ring and bang and itch i have impacted ear drums. the doc calls it otitis externa. oh man, those who have lil understanding of ear infection calls it bu-og hahaha. leche.

my eyes stung too. i wore my glasses and i am on my hilo and blurred mode. i'm tired of crying over the littlest things. and i am not even on my pms mode.

digression: about work still- i thunk tama si jeremy. even if you don't like a person, try to be nice. I AM TRYING. and good Lord, sometimes it's hard to be nice.

i said gbye to matthew today too. i don't really want him to be caught in this heaped up mess called RAEN. i am not being fair to any of us. but, i want him to go see kairi in cebu. he will go with me.(saying this with conviction cuz i already asked him- haha!) he has been the kindest most level-headed 26 year old i know. and i only had the loveliest, most princessy treatment ever since we've been together.
and he had concrete plans. you hardly see anyone running around with concrete plans these days.


the weekend: saturday, i saw an ent with mateo, then after which we had lunch at hong kong kitchen, we ordered rice and beef with broccoli which according to matthew tasted like my broccoli and pork tips. :) uh-yeah. then i met emi at bob's. i was blabbering all along, as if we were good friends since day one. i don't know what is it about new gal pals that makes me excited and happy. meeting people can really be an experience. :) dear emi, thanks for seeing me. will see you in cebu. :)

sunday, we had breakfast at jollibee libertad with arbie, then martha caught up with us, then we all went on a sunny sunday excursion in murcia for the great ukay hunt. haha. i bought huges scarves, a woven skirt of a korean brand, some korean dresses. :)

am never gonna run out of them dresses na and am not gonna go shopping unless i am buying food.

when we got home we did the groceries. i don't like the groceries anymore. it's a hasslefeck.

i missed church. but, God has been awfully faithful. i just pray that other people wake up and see how imperfect they are before they pass judgement. it's awful at times.

you know who you are.

Why do your poems comfort me, I ask myself.
Because they are upright, like straight-backed chairs.
I can sit in them and study the world as if it too
were simple and upright.

- Naomi Nye Shihab, You Know Who You Are

gelo and i saw the mummy today. ang ganda ni inay michelle! :)

it was a pretty bad service from calea. we waited around 10 minutes no servers came to take our orders. i wanted a slice of cheesecake pa naman. so i stormed out of the store. hayers.

but, bob's cafe was great. i asked angelo to remind me to get burritos next time cuz they're now serving mexican chorva chorva.

annnnnnnnnnnnnd!

my baby is getting a tattoo. another one. on his leg. he is giddy like a tambok toddler when he announced he'll get one today. i'm gonna see the whole thing tomorrow when i come home from work. our rest day sucks.

oh well. God has been awesome as always. He gives difficult people. people who can shake you and make you feel not so wonderful about yourself. people who tell you to change your hair color. kainesh. but, He gave angelo too. and my fiercely loyal sisters. and great gal pals.
who am i to ask for more?

God bless!

i've come undone.

It isn't shameful to admit that we cannot win. We take pride, perhaps falsely, in being the most intelligent creatures on the face of this planet, but not once in the history of mankind have we been able to rise above the workings of nature. Earthquakes and tidal waves, even the weather, are still mysteries to us. We know so much less than we ever want to admit. Only children, in their spontaneous and instinctive moments, seem able to express this fact clearly.

From Where we feel.

Gelo and i dated today. at bigby's. :p

i just realized that other people in this city are plain eejits. and i am another eejit if i make patol.

--

our weekend was a disaster. saturday we slept whole day. sunday, we never talked the whole day. i realized being an adult entails accountability. i will never be no one of consequence.

kumpleto na ang shopping list, nike, giordano, even the mmmm pear's on sale. ;p

happy monday!

EDITS: tops training. i lurve. it's fun. cuz i know wut's in it for me.

floor walking galores too.

God is ♥.

like splitting your heart and waiting for fairies to come out

Mary Oliver.
The Uses of Sorrow


Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.

♥ i thunk that acting like betty is not for me. i will be veronica. betty is boring and she looks like a blood hound. and i will quit acting like my whole self esteem went down the drains. i think it's still intact. some people can just go to hell. and chris tells me i should not find time for pulubis. some people are emotionally and literally pulubi. kawawa naman.

i am not insecure but, there are people in the city who can make you feel blah. and come to think of it i am not blah cuz i feed myself and i shop for myself except those times when i am too needy i ask money from angelo. pero yun lang.

i hate some eejits in this city. insipid eyjots. yawn lang.

♥ gelo brought home some lunch. rice and lechon kawali. i mused that lechon kawali is supposed to taste garlicky, he said, it's supposed to just taste good. :)

God is ♥ despite the fact that i am harboring anger in my heart these days. i have no right to be angry man gyud cuz i got away from an impending ear infection and i am not too lazy to show up for work and i haven't been ill and i got thru pmsing and my sister will give birth and gelo and i will take care of my two sisters' babies early next year. it'll be fab. galit ako sa mga yagit sa mundo. kainesh.

pero He is ♥. ü

and so para masaya eto ang repost of the photos of bradgelina's twins. here!

crash into me. hike up your skirt a lil more and show the world to me. haha. ilurve this song!

lastly, in the essence of being frugal and being paranoid that i might not have any form of livelihood in the incoming months, it's been two days since payday, i haven't bought anything made out of metal, plastic, or cotton! :) down with consumerism. haha.

and i totally thunk gelo now looks akin to pax. haha.


love,
raeyna

i miss amapola afternoons with gelo. hay.

big brown bag

'God is love,' she said. 'And He
respects love, whether it's between
a parent and child, a man and woman,
or friends.
...Live your
life right... Love with all your
heart. Don't hurt others, and help
those in need. That's all you need
to know.'

Burned, Ellen Hopkins

♥

gelo asked me to wake him up before i go to work today. i almost felt bad that our rest days don't fall on the same day but, i got over it thinking that we might need time for ourselves and yet, when i am at work i feel like i'm a storm wrecked ship that is not anchored. i feel more grounded knowing that he is around. (charootness!)

i hate doing groceries lalo na when when  the bill rings up and you see that you are paying at least 1/8 of your hard earned moolah and you'd get 3 plastic bags. onions cost p29 and a head of lettuce costs p28! incredulous. i asked gelo why, he said it's because of the oil price hike. sa isip ko lang baket nisasaute bah ang gulay sa gasolina?

hayers.

so to end consumerism and cut cost i decided that i'll bring lunch to work. i told gelo i'd make sandwiches and microwave them. and just bring pamasahe daily. this way i can cut my  spending on coffee from bob's/ pepsi- am addicted/and food- and most food from our concessionaires are food from the looney bin and so!!! magbabaon nalang ako. on a daily basis i can spend 100-150php on food, parang sayang when i know that i can make my own lunch.

i lacked sleep. or feel like i lacked sleep so i skipped yoga lest i fall asleep on my own mat.

dear shobe,

i wanna see kairi na gyd. and i wanna see kenji. hayers.

--

wala! di nako magshopping cuz i needed to save for kairi's diaper creams. kaloka ang request ni shobe. and her onesies. but, i don't think i can afford to buy onesies for her. ü

-- i'll miss christian. i have no friend when i am not on the same sched with him. i like the fact that he is such a gentle giant and a really intelligent creature. it rubs in on me. mabright pod ko. :)

i got over the hurt hurt. i am being oa lang talaga yesterday. plus the fact that i am supposed to take calls two hours a week. all crazy things would act up.

tsa moe mile.

pardon me if i clogged your multiply inboxes once again.i did some housekeeping last saturday and screened most of the blog entries from a few years back to network only, for one apparent reason. most of what i wrote were plainly cheesey and embarrassing.
i will continue writing like a dolt and wearing my heart on my sleeves but, i shall retire them entries somewhere more secured so i don't embarrass myself altogether.

low: and downright crappy.  notice how some people can be soooo nice to you one minute and treat you differently the next? eiwan ko wut i did to be treated like a leper. oh gohd. some people in this city are just too pulubi when it comes to manners and keeping things real. that's why i don't like people who grew up with soooo much hang ups, namimirwisho.

♥: sunday morning gelo and i had breakfast at mcdo. where you see elderly couples and i begin to be wistful that one day we will turn out like them.

♥: we have clean linens today. i even managed to turn the smallest room in the house as a yoga room! with incense sticks and the works. (nge, it's not that fancy pero, it's indeed a yoga room na)

♥: i did a 20 minute yoga routine. haha. eiwan. i am stiff as a board. but, as they say practice makes perfect.

♥: i wish shobe would name her baby as cait instead of cate. wala lang parang lait. milk diba meaning ng lait?

low: it's sad how other people would need to hurt you this way you can appreciate who it is that you have. at times, we all should know a good thing when we have it. i am saying goodbye to someone today. it's a whore to cut strings off, but, some people deserved it cuz they're huuuuuuuuuuuuge eejits.

♥: sunday afternoon gelo and i dated. we had pizza at yellow cab sm. tao na talaga baby ko, he finally realized yellow cab is food.

♥: i made a groceries list. made me a bit happier now that i know what to do in gaisano supermarket instead of being lost amongst the aisle and aisle of consumerism.

♥: i am grateful gelo has a new bff in iver. haha. they're soooo metro and so akin to each other it hurts. i wish he'd stop hanging out with older guys so he can act 21.

♥: september! am seeing kairi. ü

God is steadfast. pero i wish he'd cut people's head off or poke their eyes if they purposely ignore me. if they ignore me the more, panget talaga sila. panget.

haha. kaloka ang fits.

"Can a man who's warm understand one who's freezing?"

~One Day In the Life of Ivan Denisovich, Aleksandr Solzhentisyn.

photo inset: my primary pic in friendster. told gelo that i made our photo my primary photo and captioned it with hey hey love looked good on you. kaso i told him he's blurred out. ü

edits: i took calls during the day cuz i have nothing to do but think about how pathetic i were the past month. I WERE. that means being pathetic is a WAS. i wish i can just live some mis- tooks down as easily. pero hindi. some things would really hurt. and today i am hurting. i could not even spell out the manner of my HURTING. but noone i say noone has the right to treat me like a leper. bweshet.

homeward bound and melt.

If I could, I would move mountains to reach you. You must know that. If you are reading this, the mountains have proved beyond my strength.

--J.L. Carrel,  The Shakespeare Secret

the rain doesn't stop. it's a huge hasslefeck.

gelo and i decided against going out cuz we only have 1k left to stretch over the weekend. bwaha. so we made lunch. i liked team work. and i like it when we make up after a bad fight.

oh, i am in a more peaceful place now. i once read that God is just kidding and making fun of us and telling us to take things lightly when we are pmsing. :)

i told gelo i will stop crying over the tiniest things and i am tons more "normal" now. until i asked him if he were familiar with the letter of the main character in message in a bottle and then big fat tears suddenly were rolling on my cheeks.

he then gibed "i thought normal ka na, cry ka naman haw?"

i said in between tears "what if you lost me, what if tomorrow i'm dead? or byuda nako?"

boohoo.

haha. the other day he told me to stop being melancholic. kaloka these things he comes up with.

melancholic/ barbaric. he's like a 3 year old learning how to talk. ü

--

i wonder how long will i keep assisting the nesting wave. some gals i liked lalo na those gossip girls kinda gals, pero those with mongoloidal smack on their faces, i wanted to tell them to just die during their calls. haha.

--

dear little sister,

keep kairi cate safe. i want 2 babies early next year.

happy weekend!

God's been great.

JAKATLA! I MISS YOU AND I LOVE YOU. I MIGHT NOT HAVE LOAD SO I WANNA WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE. LOVE YOU TONS.♥

edits:

i know i should not take people oh so seriously but agents who take their jobs as if they were in uni would really eat all the niceness in me. asking a question once is okay, asking twice i might reconsider but, asking the same question thrice would really say something about you.

i am not nice. and i am lazy. so i guess they should just get a new nesting sup and reconsider sacking me.

gahd, i don't need this job.

adverbs

Love is candy from a stranger,
but it's candy you've had before and it probably won't kill you.

Daniel Handler - Adverbs


gelo's been feeding me with jollibee cheeseburger meal the past couplah days. i still want more!

amazing ginamus dailies

tried putting serum and ironing gelo's hair tah day. haha. daw palaka. shush..

10000bc

last saturday:


akitch: babe, daw decent man top ko?"

gelo: ayyy, change ka lang.

akitch: why haw?

gelo: kay daw ka BARBARIC sang suot mo!

fine tuning

kudos to angelo, progress gold kid na sha. he told me i can go out on saturday with the gals and dut today he was somehow okay with the idea that i went to the mall with nazel without him.. ü just when i thought he is a hopeless case when it comes to quitting his jealous seizures and fits.. big boy na gyud ako-a langga.. ü
hayers.. this crazy thing called lurve.. :)



I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing.


-Neil Gaiman, Sandman




I loved her gray eyes, and her fine light brown hair, and her gawky way of walking (like a fawn just learning to walk which sounds really dumb, for which I apologize): I saw her chewing gum, when I was thirteen, and I fell for her like a suicide from a bridge..

Neil Gaiman's Smoke and Mirrors, "Troll Bridge"





man, we all needed love quotes! :)

avail-lity

cuz i once posted that gelo looked liked maddox. haha. naa nasad ko.



gelo=maddox








photo from justjareddotcom. :)

lullabies

"She says nothing at all, but simply stares upward into the dark sky and watches, with sad eyes, the slow dance of infinite stars."
Gaiman


although i know how some things might potentially ruin what i have now, i'll still continue nurturing what i feel is right at this point- prolly in the end i might say i am really silly for running towards all directions at the same time; i will still run. (okay, yofaks maging vague!)




angelo breaks my heart in a good way at times. when he is asleep, he's like the most beautiful creature there is. i'm also jealous of his lashes.







he was like an angel, you know? i never knew life could be like that. he was the one thing i followed through in my life, the one thing i didn't give up on. i was good at loving him. (who knows where this quote is from?)







i realize that i am like this too::
Sometimes, kids want you to hurt the way they hurt.


(For One More Day, Mitch Albom)



cuz the other day when i was hurting, i wanted gelotine to wind up crying too. so i purposely said something that would make him weep. dah, gaba.





God is faithful.










edits:: maka bad mood na tonight. some people in this city take themselves too seriously and think they've the right to boss everyone around. sue me. di ko ninyo minion.
i hate this city. sunoga sila tanan Lord beh.

floating on mid-air

had five hours of sleep today. complete nonstop sleep. :) never been better. but, woke up to a headache and took 2 aspirins before work, so am almost sleepy again.

i went boozing with the boyfy and sly and markIT, czar had to catch up afterwards.

i told him if he continues to get drunk i'd go after the richer boy crush and marry him. haha. :) it was a fun day despite the fact that the guys got me imbibing alcohol half the day and gelo is making everyone sleep when he talks about ppl we don't know. hehe.



iza got me a tiny tin can of burt's bees lemon butter cuticle cream. feeling nya siguro my nails are brittle. so i told her she can also get me a face cream- the carrot kind.
i love the perks of being in support/ops, people give you gifts regardless of your performance. or maybe sa pagkatao ko lang jud- i am either loveable or i am a charity case. either or. as long as may gifts. :)





i want the day cream jud. i'll get it tomorrow. i wist. :)



i wish i learned this in high school. :)



Never bow before your tormentors. Not even if they've locked on to the most humiliating moment in your life. If you don't break, then they have nothing and it's lousy sport and they'll turn their attention to some other poor slob who's wearing a bunched-up maxipad and bleeding through her khakis.
Never let them know you're vulnerable, especially when you are.
Never trust someone else to protect you, and never forget that every choice you make is on you. Ignorance of the outcome doesn't exempt you from the consequences.


This is what you should know by sophmore year, if you want to survive. Too bad we learned the hard way and didn't pass it on in time.

-Leftovers; Laura Weiss




irita how the proxies screw up some entries. i could not find the hyperlink to delete dup entries to a blog that i copy pasted yesterday from cosmo. sayang. the tips are really great
---> if you have hair gunk daw, shampoo it out with vinegar.
dami pang ginaga tips then multiply is half crazed last night. sayang.



HAPPY THURSDAY!

love, weekend

last weekend at the boys' ball game.

yesterday's afternoons

"Drink wine...this is life eternal; this is all that youth will give you. It is the season for wine, roses and drunken friends. Be happy for this moment; this moment is your life...."
-Omar Khayyam

so true, tis the season to go celebrating when you have no good reason to go drinking- booze just becomes something celebratory when you have friends with you. guys from gelo's account showed up for their sunday basketball game, all cute guys, mind you. haha. :) guys from inkjet queue have this boyish ECE students from the ateneo appeal, hehe. :) we were almost late cuz we had to do groceries first before going anywhere lest we starve during workdays..
i did not exactly enjoyed the game because i did not have any chicas around, so i thought, if this should continue til their account closes, then maybe i should just show up in nikes and go running whilst the guys play ball. :)
gelo FIRMLY agreed.:)


then gelo, joma, marc, pa jake, and iver headed to this lomi place in bcd's chinatown(shopping district), then we all went boozing at chicken house north.
at times i wish gelo and i started together with the account, cuz when the guys were discussing about our training days, he cannot seem to connect, and it's weird how i wanted to have a shared history with him, cuz he gets all jealous and "praningated" each time he seemed to have missed out on stuff that i experienced before him. but, in a way, it's cute when he is jealous. i would purposely put him in a situation where he gets all jealous. like saturday, i missed dinner at pepe's with ninya and friends because of a silly fight. he left and went out with his guy friends whilst i stayed at home, sulking. good thing he brought home mcnuggets and then we were friends in the morning na. but, we missed church, again.

i have a new indulgence cuz i promised myself that i will stay away from ukay ukay cuz each time i have a new dress someone will ask is dut from ukay? haha. gawd, i can afford new dresses too. :) but, since everyone seemed to be wearing dresses and skirts, i will for the mean time indulge in logo shirts. i wish i could still fit in guess girls' shirts but, that's a wishing too lofty. since it was a payday weekend, i got me more of those shirts with the logo screaming across it. and i swore off buying new shoes cuz i have some more pairs that i hardly wear to work cuz we have to walk at least 2 blocks to the strikers.


this entry is haphazardly written but, on saturday morning, i had breakfast or had pepsi with jeremy, dave, and sly, i told em guys my boy crush said hi. i just had to write this cuz it's an event. the boy crush seldom says hi, and i hardly have breakfast with anyone i knew from two years back anymore. so breakfast and boy crushes are huge. :)

yesterday at lunch, we decided to get baby back ribs at bob's then gelo changed his mind and got sisig whilst i got sate babe and their awfully fruity fruit punch(mahalia jackson sad-oa sila), wut i loved about their placemats are the prints, sayang, i did not take pictures. cuz on it was the menu in 1965. and all prices for food would just range from p1 to p10! makahappy ang thought.

i think oa na ang kita ng bob's sa amo duha ni gelo, at work we buy their coffee and sandwiches, on weekend we get lunch from all their branches, even on saturday, he dated me, his mom, and shobe at bob's lacson for pizza and granita. even our anniversary date was at bob's.
sayang lang cuz we don't own the place. hehehe.
today we saw the happening. as useless i did not like it. i just love zooey deschanel altho she couldn't act, she's pretty cuz she's lily white! and she wore cute halter tops/dresses and sneakers. :)

whilst making breakfast i thought to myself that it's not fair being a working gal, cuz if i were to make breakfast, do housekeeping, budgeting, gelo would just work and wait that rice and bacon get cooked, i have more stuff to do and it's not fair. i told him i will have to write down his chores too this way it'll be fair. he can mop, take out garbages, and do the dishes. he okayed. :)
i also told him i decided not to have a baby anytime in the future or not have any children at all cuz i am unwilling to share. i told him if we had kids we'd have to take out peanut butter icecream and nutella and scrap clothes and shoe shopping out of our list cuz we have to make way for milk. i cannot do that, i told him milk isn't my favorite thing in the world. he said, "you're selfish.." i told him, i still don't want children.

dichee called tonight, kentoot wants to say hi i guess. i wish we can just teleport across the country to see our family. :(

i love this quote::
Don't ever cheat on someone. I'm serious. It's not worth it. And I'm not saying this because cheating is morally wrong, because some people have a very specific version of morality that doesn't necessarily classify actions as right or wrong. The reason you should never cheat on someone is because you won't enjoy it. No matter which person you're with, you'll always be thinking of the other one. You will never be in the romantic present tense; your mind will solely exist in the past and the future.
Killing Yourself to Live ~ Chuck Klosterman