whilst i wile away my time..

i want the whole ensemble from d&g a/w 2011!!!

The sads that take time..

fml. my heart is once again broken, broken and i am like watching them cut it in half and as if they were waiting for fairys to come out. grrrrrafack..

Life lately

I've promised my daughter that I will memorize a song just for her, that I'll read her Dr. Seuss, that I will be a present mother. But, I've been putting things off. I wish I can find more conviction in trying to realize my promises.

I've discovered collage! Haha. They make photos more pretty and somehow more meaningful when put together. Of late, I've been having 2-3 lunch dates in a day, I'm stuck in an office where I just wait for time- and I am not complaining. It's pleasant. I don't want hard work. I just need money. I've been doing hard labor since 2011, it's time that I take a breather and be able to just sit. Be a bit more friendly, listen to life stories, read good/shallow news, ensure that I just absorb good vibes, be a friend who can show up, I'm grateful that I don't have to deal with tyanaks. 

Above photos were from 2011-2012. I miss my sisters daily. I'm grateful my folks gave them to me, otherwise I'd go through motherhood alone. :(

I just don't want coffee tonight..

Though I am small I've seen things far beyond these city walls

The land is flat and it rolls for miles

I don't know much I know I've many places yet to see

I know I've been here for a while

Wouldn't you know just when I thought I had this figured out

I'm back at my first day at school

Trying not to think too loud I raise my hand to scratch my head

I've no ideas of what to do

'Cause something's changed today

And what it is I just can't say

And if I don't seem okay, well I'm okay

So sue me, sue me, if I just don't want coffee tonight

Back in this coffee house where we just met a week ago

Now we've been friends since we were young

But all our conversations are hitting walls we can't ignore

We can hide but we can't run

And I can't run from you

Or what we've run into

Now regardless what I choose, we both lose

It must be getting late

Where's my head

Where is my head

Where is my head

I still hear you telling me what a big mistake I've made

funny that's what I've been telling you

I can lead a horse to water

You can even make him drink

But you can't change his point of view

Tonight as I was driving home I passed a coffee shop

You know I wrestled with the truth

And how I'd explain to you what you could never understand

And how I'd keep my mind from you

But that's the price I pay

Your way is not my way

Today's another day and it's okay

My 2012 in photo collages. 

God I love Caedmon's Call!

“He thinks about her, at this moment, in her house, a few thin walls away, packing her life into boxes and bags and he wonders what memories she is rediscovering, what thoughts are catching in her mouth like the dust blown from unused textbooks. He wonders if she has buried any traces of herself under her floorboards. He wonders what those traces would be if she had. And he wonders again why he thinks about her so much when he knows so little to think about.”


― Jon McGregor, If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things

Almost 9 years into the BPO Industry. So many fxcking things happened. Yes, that's because I am Raena Chulalongkorn, bxtch!

So far, where I've been..

The last 6 months of 2012 had been hectic. I barely made time for myself, for Taffy, or for anyone even. I was just going through the motions and did not know how I actually lived. I wasn't a good friend, a good TL/co-worker- who was truly truly there, and what sucks was the fact that I neglected to see how Taffy grew. Yes, I took photos of Taffy but one time amidst the chaos of my dailys it dawned on me how I miss holding her hands and kissing her toes that smelled like staled popcorns!

At times the sucky-ness and supposed failure at work turn out to be huge blessings. My manager deemed me unfit for the program. Laaaah. I'm not going to begin to discuss how I work and what kind of work ethics I bring to the table. All I know is that my dedication does not boil down to just sucking it up because I am a grown woman who can speak her mind. And can say, oh well screw you.. (: And so now, I'm free from work! I am partly employed but acting unemployed. I wish I can easily call friends to meet me in Ayala for coffee.

I'm trying to gather my bearings and then maybe I can be more fun in 2013. And the best Mummy to my little joey!

x

“It seems to me now that the plain state of being human is dramatic enough for anyone; you don't need to be a heroin addict or a performance poet to experience extremity. You just have to love someone.”
― Nick Hornby, How to Be Good