hello stranger.

wow, i've missed multiply. tons. ♥

so how are things lovies?

lately, it hasn't been coming up roses. i just wanna say that i'm tired of facebook and the self-indulgence of some people there. yofax.

so i'm back here. lol.

to self-indulge as well. haha.

 

 

hello love

While Keken and I are both coughing our lungs out.

Saturday afternoon, January 6, 2010

raeyna galenga's sky drive

http://cid-213bf106e9f9824d.skydrive.live.com/albums.aspx
i don't know how to work the java uploader in multiply. windows live is tons easier. recent photographs are stored here. :)

so it goes..

link to kairi's new photos from shobe's multiply.. too lazy to upload the photos myself.. click on the hearty.. 

♥

sayang, had been missing luna mystica and the guy already falls for luna the panget gal, cuz not all panget gals have zero personality i guess or maybe that's how it is in free tv and literature. 

okies, remember the bible story when lot turned back tas nahimo sha pillar of salt? i kinda felt like it's not me when i feel bitter ocampo, and i don't think i am ever gonna be bitter ocampo, lot was just somehow am not sure wut's the word, maybe melancholic or nostalgic of wut was home to her then. 

it's just that the other day, when i saw the ticket for our apartment's rent, my name was on it and not gelo's. parang it hit me hard that ako nalang gyud diay sa place and there's not a trace of anything from him there except that canister of the abercrombie store smelling cologne.. 

tas today, i saw his birthday posted on the wall at work. gelo- 16th.it's abit hard not to notice the loss or wutevs it is that's not there anymore.yawn lang. and i guess that's how lot turned into a pillar of salt.. 

my eyes got stung with salt the past few days and today.
oa-ness. 

the worst! keken's bukol hurts me more than anything. my penguin is nothing short of a miracle when we got him. tas this bukol is sooooo humungouos. buti nalang he did not faint. he just cried but managed to smile when i took pictures.baby sitter's club forever. 

m asked me whether my penguin was asleep. 

i told him kenji slept on my tummy. he then told me we're like snoopy and woodstock. and snoopy says that having friends is hard on the tummy. 
:)
and if i stayed really patient, i might actually have a date on my 27th birthday. haha. :) (late twenty's na daw ni.:) 

i love my life. 

grace like rain falls every day,
rayna.

that said.

"Before we are able to receive a gift, from a friend or from nature, we have to be open to it; a bottle with its cap screwed on tightly cannot be filled with water no matter how much water we try to pour into it or how often we try - the water simply runs down its sides, never filling it."

- From Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar

nazel came by for breakfast. and saw kenjitoy. as useless the boy would snub everyone. :) napildi si nazel sa pagkasnub.

amongst the great presents i have received lately is the new ccms status that says:
job grade: trainer
department: curriculum development.

weeh! :)

God's been steadfast.

i hope the sister gets a job sooner. i want her in ttech. it's nearer. but, really when we're wealthier we hafta move to cebu cuz shobe's there.

gelo lost his pair of oakley. i wanna cry siomai. :(

again, i realized that unwelcome advice is as good as bad news/ sloppy counsel. so wag mong ipilit unless you are asked.

earth choking flowers

now dreams run wild, as lovers find their way

through the night, not a care in the world.

and over there, over the twinkling of the lights

harbor lights, say goodnight one more time.

i love the rainy day walking hand in hand with the one i lurve

NOT!

i hate our apartment. i wanted to look cute pero the rain bundak to the maximum and cab companies in this city are supah unreliable. so, i had to change into a really lousy velour sweats and an adi top that sticks/clings too much people would think i went swimming. leche.

okay, i realize one should never go for people. hayers.

dear gelo,

happy 13th month pay. hehehe. :)

i want the following on payday tuesday: body shop strawberries lotion/ a shirt from guess- maka addict na jud. hahaha.

sana ilista nang santa clause kong insik.

my whining also eats people. so i thunk i should shut up najud.

oh well.

edits: HAPPY SECOND ANNIVERSARY WAVE 1!

and one agent beckoned me to his station, when i asked why he said.. wala nahidlaw ko simo. (i missed you:).. hahaha.. grovers kasweet!

♥

Chris tells me that when you are trying to say limot ko or lipat ko the proper way of saying it is.. I FORGET.. YAWN LANG.

and yeah, remember i wrote people who have insipid tastes in clothes have bad hearts? IT IS SOOOOOO TRUE!

and i hate it when someone who has the nicest face cannot speak english properly. call center english is sometimes poorly done. mine isn't call center english- it's delilah kinda english. ayyyyyyyyyy nalang. bits fitch jud ning ako tungod sa pms. payday na please!

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.
Kurt Vonnegut, Sirens of Titan

any apparent somewhere..

"Oh if at every moment of our lives we could know the consequences of some of the utterings, thoughts and deeds that seem so trivial and unimportant at the time! And should we not conclude from such examples that there is no such thing in life as unimportant moments devoid of meaning for the future?"

The Passionate Nomad -- Isabelle Eberhardt

- i still have strange dreams about my old old friends from 10 or so years back. i don't know if it's yearning or feeling nostalgic about how things were i cannot seem to pinpoint one thing about those dreams. and then i got this sms from mike ty telling me his mom passed. i shivered at the thought of not being able to be physically present when friends actually need friends to be there. at times, i just wanted my family & other people whom i really really cared about close by. sad night. but, not extremely. there are tons of other reasons to be happy about being here..

- am glad i somehow have the affirmation from eds that his place is a happy place to be in. things are vague now. i don't even know if i can last 6 more months in the company. at times you go to work and you feel like you have an unseen enemy. but, diba, in the Bible one of God's promises is to lay a banquet in front of you despite the fact that your foes are surrounding you? i am claiming that promise for myself. by monday, i hope to see things clearly. now, i'm all clouded over.

- and then there's gelo. he makes me happy. i sometimes thought that he looks like a tiny beany baby and i could just squeeze him til he would burst.

okay, i am sharing the baby names i have in mind. i don't mind if people will copy, but, these will be the names i wanted for our kids if we would wind up with kids (or can afford to have kids) years from now..
- bianca nicholaa (cuz am sure the baby won't be morena cuz am pale, and gelo is 75% mainland chinese:)

- nafsika victoria (gaya names from a model and from my bessie in high school and of chors, from posh:)

- stefania romina (in honor of stefifay and most of the rominas i know are guapitas:)

- mika mathia - baby boy name cuz gelo wants the boy named mika after some f1 racer and i don't want the child to not have a middle name cuz he'd be teased as kaong.. mi-KAONG. mathia becuz i loved mark ruiz' first baby girl to death. i want our boy to have a girl's name cuz i know he'd be pretty..

- slate dylan - jacob dylan of wallflowers is love. and the Christian life is always counted on fresh slates. good start each time, each day. i want our child to have a name that would remind him that he'll always have forgiveness and can always start anew.

and if all else fails, and if we adopt a child as gelo would want an adopted child if we cannot have any, i'll name our daughter lily rain - grace like rain falls daily. :) and i liked one verse in the Bible about lilies and sparrows and how God sees them each day, i want that child to know that she's seen and loved. (i know wala'y lily of the valley diri but, naa'y water lilies:)

- am sappy today. i pondered that at 26 i came to terms with my body issues. there'll be a quiet acceptance that your waist don't trim down on its own but thickens as you age, that you hafta take care of your skin and yourself in general, that it pays to be hygienic but, you don't have to be totally vain. a work mate's sister who's only 20 almost went to the looney bin because of dieting pills and eating disorder. i shared that i went thru a phase in my life where i was über conscious of my weight, had nothing but lettuce for meals and would induce vomiting when i am upset by putting toothbrush or poking my fingers to my throat. i never talked about it that much cuz it's embarassing. but, every gal going thru puberty and young adulthood would go thru that phase, and if they could just bear in mind not to take things too seriously and talk to a friend who goes thru same bodily issues and insecurities, being a looney can be prevented. ü boo-hoo.

- oh well, it's a friday. and it's payday. happy 4th of july to those who are celebrating it. most of call center agents are celebrating. lesser calls tonight. :)

muah!

weekend in retrospect

gelo and i saw wanted saturday. mama angie is hot but, the movie failed to sizzle or spark. i honestly thought i could understand movies better if they came with subtitles. :)
then we slept the whole evening and decided against going out.
we skipped church sunday, altho it would've been a good idea if we went to church. i did the usual weekend home cleaning- i feel like i am meant for housekeeping and being a wife, but, i don't see myself being a mom at this point, i am happy to be an aunt, but, i couldn't imagine myself trying to keep my job to feed a child. can NOT.


in the afternoon i had to go with him and cheer for his "team" at basketball, czar was there, so it was better, we spent the rainy afternoon exchanging gossips, then dropped by SM after the game as the guys went boozing at manokan country and we got ourselves a jar of deep conditioners, then we were off for videoke at bilco til midnight, am happy with how things went during that night, a couple of my friends made up and decided to be friends, there was soooo much booze, my tummy is hurting but, i managed to have fun cuz they were all having soooo much fun. and all of us were drunk and belting out good rock star numbers. :) and joma was even there!

i wept when they greeted us happy anniversary. gelo hugged me and whispered, it's been a year loving you..(haha, giyofaks na ako uyab:)

czar, markIT, nazel, and sly crashed at our apartment. czar and i made canton/corned beef/lechon paksiw(debetaw puro canned and instant:)//

at times it can be true, real friends are those who are with you during your happy times. cuz they celebrate when you celebrate. sad times, well, honestly, you don't need to be bothered or bother people about your miserable existence. so you won't need friends. haha. :)
today, we celebrated our anniversary with baby back ribs and corn muffins at bob's la salle. :) i am cheap. so i am easily made happy. :)
i asked him about his school, he said it was a fun uni. i think it is too..
happy anniversary langga! i love you cuz even if there are countless times that you made me cry, you always managed to make me smile.. :)

God is great. He'll work on me and gelo itoy next week. :)

2 cents

some actor once said that the name CHRISTIAN stood for : CHRIST I AM NOTHING..

haven't been passionately trying to evangelize people with what i believed in- altho in some instances such as last weekend, it crossed me that it might be the right venue to share Him Jesus to those who were there cuz they were literally doing nothing at all and might be willing to listen- but, i got scared. so i let that chance pass..

i've been writing about my baby steps towards Christianity in this blog amongst other daily babbles of life such as daily fits and consumerism and this lovely thing we all call lurve. but, yesterday's work episode honestly humbled me. i normally stay away from confrontation lest the uncalled for tears. but really..

jeremy's right about one thing, we don't get our worth from other people, we must measure ourselves up to how He sees us. Cuz without Him we are worth nothing and in Him we can have everything. prolly despite our disagreements at times, we would still meet half way not because he is my boss and i am his worker ant, not because we are friends, but, what could've set jeremy and i from the rest is the one fact- we're both Christians, that makes a hell lot of difference.

--

on road to uptraining. thank God the week's almost over!

shiny happy people

last of the upload. yofax pagwala ug java uploader.
sunday til monday afternoon. bantayan still.

but not quite

"Even more, I had never meant to love him. One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you.
I'd been broken beyond repair."


New Moon by Stephenie Meyer

exactly caller maxado ang quote above. :)
at times the relationship with gelo is like a coconut not the buko kind but, the MACAPUNO kind. :)

thursday, went out with angelo, after a week of cost cutting, i will not indulge in consumerism, so far i just realized that a meal at tater's would cost you 200pesoses. mahalia jackson maxado.

missed class last friday. for some reason, i know i am winning in an argument when angelo starts to throw fits.

saturday: bantayan island! oh yeah. with the inkjet management and shallie, gelo, jomapig, czar, markIT, alana, sandrita..
sunday: the gals visited the town area of bantayan. we took 1 million pictures of the old catholic church. in the afternoon, shobe and i went sun bathing the whole afternoon. i am burnt!
monday: homebound.

there are things about the beach that makes it the most relaxing place to be in, the sun don't hurt and you also won't notice that even if you are deep down hurting, you seemed okay when you are near the ocean.

tuesday: i've class. the work place is a lonely place when gelo is not there.

“Everyone has faith in God though everyone does not know it. For everyone has faith in himself and that multiplied to the nth degree is God. The sum total of all that lives is God. We may not be God, but we are of God, even as a little drop of water is of the ocean.”

--Mohandas Gandhi

happy work week!

i wish work days were always un-boring and fun. ano kaya kung nagkacall center sa boracay? me and gelo will be the first ones to move there!

blue dress in the doorway

the littlest sister got married today. sayang i did not get to see the wedding ceremonies and chorva chorva, but, i got almost almost melancholic that the little girl who used to put soooo much powder on her face and neck and would quip "magwa ko para makapaduding sa labors.." is now her own person with sooo much character.

dichee texted and told me am the last carrier of the gedorio virus. :) cute.  two of my sisters changed their last name na, if i were to change it, i wish i'm super sure that i wanna stick with the husband's last name the whole time. if not, we can  get married in hongkong. hahaha.

told gelo he should marry me. he said, di kapa, ikaw ang carrier of the virus. bwaha. at times, maybe marriage can give you tons of benefits, una sa lahat, your taxes are scrapped off, compared to a single's tax- married people's taxes are tons lower. and everything is legal, if you've got a child or if you're preggers and married, the baby would've been legal since day 1.

it's a long step ahead. maybe marrying someone would take a lot of practice. at least, for me. but, am happy for my sisters. and the life that they lead. i just wish they'd have easier times getting things they needed for their kids. and i wish they'd always be able-bodied to work and become the best parents.

♥

kenji claps his hands when you are about to ask him to sing- that signals you to quit asking him to sing cuz he already ends it with applause. haha.

there's something about summer months that makes them the happiest times.

i wish the rains wouldn't screw the bantayan getaway. 

God is really great. my relationship with Him is stagnant though. i know that i should be a better Christian but, most days, i am just rotting. i wish i could teach my nephew and shobe's little one, and maybe our kids in the future(or our dogs:) about my Jesus in time.

♥
i've a class. or i might be observing a class.

♥

"Her eyes, under his gaze, shimmered grey to green with bubbled of amber that flickered like lightning in the depths and floated up to break like stars on the surface: bottomless eyes, that a man or beast fool enough to look at long would fall into and drown."

The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley

bcd terminal

gelo and his shobe at the bcd airport yesterday. may 18, 2008. terminals are sad places. :(

dyosa, kamama, duende, gnomes,spartan

:)
still last weekend.
what love!

Whenever he was near her he could feel it, as if it were a live, animated thing, this acute awareness that she was the other half of him - a side that had been lost or perhaps had never existed until he found her. Daniel and the Angel -Jill Barnett

girl,

i've had about 3 hours of sleep today. when gelo got home, we decided against making lunch cuz we were both too tired and had to go to the bbq nook near our place and in many months i had the courage to eat chicken intestines again. pinoy street food is ♥.

i am cranky and tired and all swollen and still has these one gazillion tiny bruises all over my body. hayers.

his ma wants us married, my ma wants us married, we both want ourselves married one day, prolly we will get married but, to other people. ha-ha!

he is a boy and i think there are things that he'd look at as a priority and i would look at them like they were plain silly-ness. or perhaps, i am the one who is being silly when he explains his priorities.

gawd, lately we've been arguing soooo much about the tiniest life things it doesn't bother me whether he wins or i win. as long as i just get to yell, raise my voice, or punch him. whatever works. and then i'd wind up crying and saying i am sorry. like duh.. oh well, anyway my goal is to become gretchen.

--
i also stayed up abit too late because i thought i'd be helping another trainer whose starting a new class, then johnny pulled me aside and had to talk. okay, i heart johnny even if he gets to me at times. he is an okay guy. like jeremy who bosses around at times, then i realize that he really is my boss and at the same time my friend. so it's fine.

people are just amazing and at the same time funny. and our hearts are sometimes just mad. mad about life, work, passions, beliefs, and principles. (as shana was saying we evangelize wut we believe in, not necessarily our religion but, it can be anything that we truly believe in.) and the heart makes us the oddest/ unique-est ones out there. right now, my heart is a baaaaaaad as it can be. but, i now He is wringing it out so that i can make it mad about the right things.

--
"I'm glad it's a girl. And I hope she'll be a fool--that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool."

fitzgerald.

a stain in my immaculate white shirt

i don't have a life anymore, since i am usually talking about my classes and the people from work. and most of them around me now aren't adorable people. and i've just about had it with the people who feels like they're my bosses. ats if. when it rains, it's four. dikaya.

and yeah, i've had it with stains on my denim skirt/seersucker dress/white tank tops/mellow yellow blouse. everyday, i come home with white board and scented markers stains. ahateit.

am pmsing big time. good thing payday na tomorrow. i don't want anything new, i don't have a shopping list. it's just that i wanted a massage and i had been putting it off since i got here. and it's always a good if not better feeling to have some money in the bank and then days after payday, you'd have to wait for the next payday na naman.

one day soon, when i come to understand this city i will leave. right about now, am not ready to leave yet.

in class: at times i mumble my words/ construct the most incorrect/incomprehensive sentences unknown to mankind. i catch myself laughing when i do that. but, really i could not write/speak in straight english like how i can back in kindy or gradeschool. kakahiya big time. and yeah, grammar check nalang gyud ko dapat always. but, then again other people in this city or this company must not try checking my grammar cuz i know dut i am waaaaaaaay better than them.

i hate guys. ugly guys who feel like they have the right to boss you around.
incident kanina: gipaypay ko paduol sa hayup na manager ug sultian, i need your tracker updated. am like, are you talking to me?  haaaaaaayers, some people here feels like they're the owner of this company. to thunk noone i repeat noone is indispensible in any company.


last day tomorrow. then the week after next, am gonna be on another class. hayers.

i miss angelo.

dreameria.

i've a love-hate relationship with my class. but, i think things are getting a bit better. i honestly snap at some of them who are weirding me out, they snap back too. hahaha.

there are times when i want to get out of the house and be alone. not that i like sleeping alone at all, but, i want some me time too. (then some other things may come out of it, so i won't even bother asking for me time.)

class will be over in a week, then i have a new class two weeks after. haaaayers.

i want a new dress. and dut pekpek shorts. hay. dreams.

---------------------------------->
"Once upon a time...

That's how they always start, the fairy tales that I read as a child. It's the proper place for them to start, because right away you know you're going to be taken somewhere else.

So.

Once upon a time there was a little girl who wished she could be anywhere else in all the wide world except for where she was. Or more preferably still, she wished she could find some way to cross over into whatever worlds might lie beyond this one, those wonderful worlds that she read about in stories. She would tap at the back of closets and always look very carefully down rabbit holes. She would rub any old lamp that she came across and wish on any and everything..." Charles de Lint, 'The Onion Girl'

choosing domestication

wala nami naga shopping altho gelo told me he'll get me a pair of guess pekpek shorts that i forever wanted but, had to hold off til next payday, and he'll get me a huuuuuuge bottle of that bvlgari parfum dut i don't think i'll need. cuz if he did, unsa nalang amo kaonon til next payday?

i told him we are buying a fridge. we are not going to guimaras this weekend with some kewl people who walked earth because we have a house to fill with domestic thingies such as decent bed frames, dining table and chairs, a couch, and that damn fridge and a stove.

we needed those.

it's hard to (quoting kathra) stop the little voices inside my head. cuz they do tell me that it's okay to shop. but, if i were preparing myself for domestication, i'd rather purchase house things. hayers.

yesterday, we talked about marrying. at times it's a difficult subject to talk about. cuz even if we both wanted to be married, we are also uncertain of marriage in itself. it's taxing to think about it. but, i know we will somehow agree on the same terms.

--

3 days of fastfood bingeing. we have to stop. pagod nako makita ang sm. mayta if ayala sha.

--
training is a bit better but, i feel off because my throat hurts. and i got the most terrible tasting ginseng candy ever made.

God is wonderful. i know dut i am made with a bad heart but, He continues to keep me.

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
the leap years by catherine lim

the 26th

i don't feel old. it's like a regular number, but, i am stressed. training did not go too well on the first half of the class cuz i was soooo sala set, but, double jeopardy(the game) always works. and i reckon that my trainees are either visual learners and hands on learners cuz they can't seem to follow when i am speaking.

so i got greetings from unexpected people. haha. people i wasn't able to speak with in years.
hayers. i miss davao plus cebu now. :(

and well, i got a disco/clubbing blouse and an aqua undie from the morays- nazel and charrrr

and i got a home decor thingy from a supervisor who's my trainee too. hehe.

i cannot count my blessings today cuz i know i have too much..

♥
raen