Wednesday, February 23, 2011
tons of inspirations
dichee and shobe 4+++ years back
shobe, hubog
kenjisan at the roof deck of shobe's house
us three
can i go back to wearing heels and being 100lbs?
i miss lighting up and shamo.
baby kenji.
my spidey man
yuwi pretty
another yuwi
kairi, reprezant
what a cutie
dichee
how to deal.
i hate having to wake up to the MIL knocking at our front door asking if i am feeling all right. sometimes, i just want to yell leave me alone. my own mum doesn't really wake me up you know and it's fine. (; i sometimes wish we don't share the porch so that when i feel like sulking and commiting suicide, i'd have the privacy to do so. these, amongst other things are the pinpricks.
i'm also hurting for cookie. i honestly wish this fugly, control freak negra would stop picking on her. when in fact she is the one who is not totally blameless. when you think about it, this is just a small community. our livelihood is an integral part of our lives, but- it isn't our entire life. though it's cliche i know that when God closes the door of your comfort zone, He wishes you to continue moving, striving, doesn't want you to be laxed and complacent. sometimes, floor to ceiling windows will suit you better. (: our whole lives cannot be relied upon a job. true, you'll be hard up when you lose it, but who isn't used to the barebones? i am not scared.
andddddddddd,i have younger sisters who can be overbearing most times, with opinions, with feelings. but, i love them. i can't stay hurt. now, i realized that i should just shut up when they speak of disgust, of their own perspective. it's theirs, not mine. bickering won't help me become a better mom to my child. and yeah, charity begins at home.
and j, we're all right. we're dealing. with each other's lack and with each other's strengths. we're on the family way. simply put, we're into relational adjustments and relying on each other. and sorting it all out.
turning 29 in 2 weeks' time. loveleh.
Christianity is a tough call. a long walk. sometimes, you wanna sit by the shoulders of the road and eat butong butong. at this time, i wanna do just that.
Friday, February 11, 2011
tons of kairi and yuwi
photos i got from shobe's facebook friend. they're watermarked. so there goes the credits.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
cuz you deserved a proper blog entry fucking puta
at first i were amused by the fact that this gal is spiteful of me even if i haven't done anything to her. now, i want her to run for her life's safety cuz should i see her, i'd really trip her and she better hope to her gods that i don't kill her. i lived with a boy who was good for me at that time. but, when love has physical abuse involved i know i had to do something. in retaliation and in whatever i thought was right for me. yes, i cheated. not once but twice. unafraid that i might get more beatings and bruises.
dear present gal, go fuck yourself. if you only learned one side of the story- either from the boy or his friends, i'm sure you will fucking wanna know more about me. since you are poring over my blogs. even stealing the way i try to write and even the things i say in a horrendous/baduy way. just fuck yourself. if your guy treats you right and does not hit you, good for you. i'm not gonna balk and be jealous over that. i've never tried to make this guy look bad, never bad-mouthed him. i've always had pretty words to say about him because despite some ugly sides of the relationship, most of it were lovely. but, i am not totally to be blamed for letting the relationship go in ruins. you should be grateful i've let him go. i've always been truthful and never hid the bruises and cuts i got out of the relationship.
again, go fuck yourself. before you say that a gal is the girlfriend of every boy in town, get your facts straight. i've never had more than half a dozen relationships. i don't have to explain pseudo and quasi relationships and dates and the ridiculous things a gal can do to her heart and her body. do not fucking get delirious and so virginal about yourself. you are not a saint, you goody two-shoes whore. of course, you will not go through what i've gone through because you do not have a pretty face. go fucking accept that and deal with it.
when i grow old, i can tell my child to never do the things i've done & i'm sure my child would not even want to have its heart broken over and over. so even w/out my coaxing it will have the proper sense to become a better person than me. however, i am damn sure that i can fucking tell my grandchildren a past that is spicy enough that they'll all love their mamita.
well, what about you, what have you got? wealthy enough parents, a fucking car, and some education? but you will forever live in my shadows? because you know that some pairs of shoes, most shirts, some jeans that your guy is wearing are actually gifted by a very generous ex domestic partner that is me. fuck yourself. you may say all things nice and syrupy sweet about your relationship. to hell i care about it. i've neither been jealous or happy about his state of life now. i never cared. i have a life of my own. it's simple, sometimes boring, sometimes difficult- nonetheless it is mine. not a borrowed, copied, overshadowed one.
your pet name for your guy actually meant elder brother in chinese. fuck your idiotic self. i'm really tired of people making the stupidest, insane stories about me. about opinions that will not feed me or make me have less trips to the hospitals. most people in this city have lives so ugly that they meddle with my life. they give out gems of thoughts that make them look so perfect. before i thought, you're only pitiful cuz you are so insecure now, i think you are also one of them ugly people who would only highlight negative aspects of an innocent person's life but in truth, they really know nothing about it.
would ugly things about me make you a better girlfriend? much prettier? no. it makes you spiteful and fucking hilarious.
next time you see me, make sure you hold on to your boyfriend. cuz some pregnant girl might give him a peck on his cheek and you will end up in suicide. and always proof-read your blogs. your entries are fucking damak. you did not wear me out today. you made me smirk.
xx
dear present gal, go fuck yourself. if you only learned one side of the story- either from the boy or his friends, i'm sure you will fucking wanna know more about me. since you are poring over my blogs. even stealing the way i try to write and even the things i say in a horrendous/baduy way. just fuck yourself. if your guy treats you right and does not hit you, good for you. i'm not gonna balk and be jealous over that. i've never tried to make this guy look bad, never bad-mouthed him. i've always had pretty words to say about him because despite some ugly sides of the relationship, most of it were lovely. but, i am not totally to be blamed for letting the relationship go in ruins. you should be grateful i've let him go. i've always been truthful and never hid the bruises and cuts i got out of the relationship.
again, go fuck yourself. before you say that a gal is the girlfriend of every boy in town, get your facts straight. i've never had more than half a dozen relationships. i don't have to explain pseudo and quasi relationships and dates and the ridiculous things a gal can do to her heart and her body. do not fucking get delirious and so virginal about yourself. you are not a saint, you goody two-shoes whore. of course, you will not go through what i've gone through because you do not have a pretty face. go fucking accept that and deal with it.
when i grow old, i can tell my child to never do the things i've done & i'm sure my child would not even want to have its heart broken over and over. so even w/out my coaxing it will have the proper sense to become a better person than me. however, i am damn sure that i can fucking tell my grandchildren a past that is spicy enough that they'll all love their mamita.
well, what about you, what have you got? wealthy enough parents, a fucking car, and some education? but you will forever live in my shadows? because you know that some pairs of shoes, most shirts, some jeans that your guy is wearing are actually gifted by a very generous ex domestic partner that is me. fuck yourself. you may say all things nice and syrupy sweet about your relationship. to hell i care about it. i've neither been jealous or happy about his state of life now. i never cared. i have a life of my own. it's simple, sometimes boring, sometimes difficult- nonetheless it is mine. not a borrowed, copied, overshadowed one.
your pet name for your guy actually meant elder brother in chinese. fuck your idiotic self. i'm really tired of people making the stupidest, insane stories about me. about opinions that will not feed me or make me have less trips to the hospitals. most people in this city have lives so ugly that they meddle with my life. they give out gems of thoughts that make them look so perfect. before i thought, you're only pitiful cuz you are so insecure now, i think you are also one of them ugly people who would only highlight negative aspects of an innocent person's life but in truth, they really know nothing about it.
would ugly things about me make you a better girlfriend? much prettier? no. it makes you spiteful and fucking hilarious.
next time you see me, make sure you hold on to your boyfriend. cuz some pregnant girl might give him a peck on his cheek and you will end up in suicide. and always proof-read your blogs. your entries are fucking damak. you did not wear me out today. you made me smirk.
xx
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