stacks

Earlier into my 20s I've prayed for a certain consistency in my life- be it a job or something more, and every New Years I wish for life-altering experiences. Life altering ones had been given- some are beneficial and are of happy things, others are either hurtful, regrettable, and are actually results of un-wise decisions.

A life that is somehow consistent took a bit of time to materialize until I got pregnant. The prayer didn't necessarily mean a child, marriage, a husband but somehow maybe this was my God's way of making me know what is consistent- what is lasting- what is forever.

I guess the moment I'd be a mother - I'd be changed forever. I will always be a mother and in that sense my prayer had been personified.

-

Lately, I've been gnashing negativity- I've tons of things to accomplish when I go back, government papers, more home renovations, more things to purchase for the baby, and a relationship that needs to grow-up instantly - how horrific it seems that a year ago we were just a couple now we are both parents. I, at 29 am experiencing difficulties in adjusting, what more to a mere 23 year old?

--

"On your back with your racks as the stacks are your load

In the back and the racks and the stacks of your load

In the back with your racks and you're un-stacking your load

.. your love will be safe with me."