wearing half a heart on my sleeve

 

i never knew that babies would wake up more than twice in the middle of the night, and scream, and rub their eyes, then wail, then cry... then would want to be picked up and hushed to sleep and would drink ounces and ounces of milk a day. and milk can be soo expensive, more expensive than mommy's top or lip gloss.

and you've to get them diaper rash cream and diapers and tons of other baby stuff you never thought would be quintessential. and i never knew that this 6 lbs. imp could actually make your arms tired.

and i did not realize that i took 5 weeks of his life from his real mom. ha! suffer. jawk ra dich oi.

brought ma and kenji to gaisano yesterday, we bought more stuff for the baby. and groceries. and the imp slept the whole time.hay.

God Bless ppl. mwagh.

the imp and unseen bruises

kenji and ma are here// sayang no photographs of his first airplane ride// gawd, i've the most adorable nephew// he was quiet and peaceful the whole time// and then i took them to robi to do groceries and buy toiletries for him, a bulk of the purchases were for him// and am thinking i've no home space for a baby or enuf money to afford something as cute as he is//ppl would actually look at him. grabeh ka head turner. ma ruins my "atik/ilad" mommy mode each time she says, "tita raen"...i told her i should be addressed as mommy raen. wahahaha.

gawd, nakakadisappoint, the ppl whom i thought knew me too well still would have me misunderstood. at times their opinions would eat me. am not pala-away or anything like it, am not even confrontational. it's just that when i do not like you, there's no use talking to you. parang fine, must see you go. :)

this is what i appreciate about jacel, verlaine, fifay- they know my deepest dirty crappiest self and were never judgemental or would not give advices that are uncalled for.

oh, i've been carrying the imp the whole afternoon yesterday. drats. my arms are wonderfuly bruised.  :)

dear jeremy, that should be the first and the last time you'd see me cry// i've never wailed as loud as that. i am not the type who'd throw temper fits for no reason. i guess there are times when you'd rather be blind than see the truth. :(

I'm lifting you up
I'm letting you down
I'm dancing til dawn
I'm fooling around
I'm not giving up
I'm making your love
This city’s made us crazy and we must get out- maroon5

GOD BLESS EVERYONE. HAVE A GIDDY KILIG LOVE LOVE DAY. MWAGH.

 

 

 

way beyond it.

he asked why are you crying?

and then i burst into more tears. and sobbed uncontrollably.

and he asked are you hurt?

damn it. iam.

 

 

 

Gal pal’s advice

Mag save na ta. Di na dapat ta pataka gasto…

 

Unsaon nalang nimu na, daghan ka lagi kwarta pero bati ka mananina?

 

 

 

 

Am not done yet

 

 

Nganu sako man ka manangil na nawa ang interest sa taw nya? Ako ba diay makasa kung murag werewolf jud ka? Ug murag gi-hydrocephalus iya ulo sa sa kadaku sa ego?

Ug unta ang mga kaborrow nako’g tsi mamayad na. Paka-uwaw magka-utang na loob sa tsi pa.

Ug paila ila nako ang ubang taw sa platonic relationship. Wa ba ka gadali, mag-ila ila sa mo.

And even if a person is Audrey Hepburn beautiful not everyone would endup na ma-auto in love nya. Si dave lu lang pede.

And sa pug na tig dispute ug QA score, dapat musulti saka excuse my nose coupled with my Johnny Bravo aura your royal highness…

 

There.

 

 

This should go without saying…

That we are different but we found a certain commonality in friendship. Albeit that, I do not have the boheme love all front, and until I figure out who you are turning out to be and come to terms with that, I cannot be a friend.

 

 

 

fish and chips and ginamus

We (Czar and Jerjer) had fish and chips at Bigby’s yesterday after shift. Yehey to big apetit! We scoured for cheap tops with jer in tow. Jer then bought meat and milk, awaiting for the attendant to finish chopping the meat, we discussed our mananap fears…Czar’s would be spiders, Jer’s would be frogs, mine’s lizards…

 

My budget thingy went kaput. I wonder where all that money went. I mean, over the weekend what I got was a sum of a month’s salary. My monthly dues are the hugest heartbreakers. Good thing wala ko association fees or building maintenance fee (as if this is existential in my hood)… Btw, going over income, I earn a month’s worth of what a mom who sends four kids to school would make… My moolah would usually end up paying for my matchbox pad, groceries, the budgeted 11 day subsistence cut, weekend dinners and booze. Murag anogon ko think. Add the fact that there are impromptu coffee, movies, lunches, tas binges na malala. At times I feel guilty because p100 coffee is some family’s whole day meal budget…murag makasulti pod ko dili nalang ko mag coffee… my only tao-tao in my atm account is a good sum of 1k. Promise. I’m never good with money; that’s why I always thought that I should marry rich. However, I changed perspective; at 24 I make close to what I thought I’d never have at this age. And maybe when I turn 25 I’d start building my financial nest egg til I am 30. Should I fail, I’d marry Vince. Hahahaha. Buing. Nindot ako action plan sa? Vincent’s presence is beginning to be my security blanket, if ever God would take him away for good I guess I will weep. Ngunit, subalit, datapwat I should start saving so I don’t starve. My worst fear jud baya is to become a penniless/homeless pauper. Noooooooooo. I told someone I usually get what I want…I haven’t finished my sentence with in due time and a bit of workaround… :) sooo, am gonna look forward to a raise in july, a full 13^th month in December, and SL conversion! Yehey ginamus!

 

 

Still money is a lousy way of keeping score. I’d bear that in mind. Mwagh. Cebu represent!

Raenyberry

We think the stars are fixed in the sky,

but they are not.

I think sometimes we have to learn to give in

to change, to the new things.