big blow off

forget how to count
starting with your own age
starting with how to count backward
starting with even numbers
starting with roman numerals
starting with the old calendar
going on to the old alphabet
going on the alphabet
until everything is continuous again

- W.S Merwin

i was so mad at this huge american guy last night who thought that everyone is his minion. after that incident i was asked to see HR this afternoon. i sometimes wish i'd never taken the job with training. then gelo and i would've been all right and i wouldn't need to make nice to every one who thinks they are my boss. if i lost this job, the only trouble i'd have is paying my rent or moving my whole luggage to cebu. but, that's not as much trouble as having to deal with huge american dimwits and his filipino clones.

anyway, during breakfast today, i told matthew that i honestly am not scared if i wind up jobless. i told him that during my devotional time, God has given me one promise. that is in psalm 71:20 - though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again. and i hold this to be true. i know it as the truth. maybe those difficult people are difficult because they don't have my God.

argh.

oh on a happier note!

i saw my ent with matthew again. tells me he needs to see me after two weeks. i hear a bit better now that my ear chambers are free of dirt. haha. (don't try to imagine it- it's gross!)

--

i'll miss matthew. i told him at times even though people feel the same way about each other, they're not just SWAK. and maybe one day, he'll meet that one gal who feels totally just happy to be with him.