In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
[Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair]
2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside".
[Evidently, the shoplifter special]
3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
[And that would be how...?]
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
[But it's *just* a suggestion]
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not
turn upside down".
[Oops, too late!]
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating.
[As sure as night follows the day . . . . .]
7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
[But wouldn't this save even more time?]
8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication".
[We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.]
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
[One would hope]
10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
only".
[As opposed to what?]
11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".
[I gotta admit, I'm curious].
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts".
[NEWS FLASH]
13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open
packet,eat nuts."
[Step 3: Fly Delta]
14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not
enable you to fly".
[I don't blame the company. I do blame parents for this one!]
15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals".
[Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?.....Good grief!]
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
[Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair]
2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside".
[Evidently, the shoplifter special]
3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
[And that would be how...?]
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
[But it's *just* a suggestion]
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not
turn upside down".
[Oops, too late!]
6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating.
[As sure as night follows the day . . . . .]
7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
[But wouldn't this save even more time?]
8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication".
[We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.]
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
[One would hope]
10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
only".
[As opposed to what?]
11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use".
[I gotta admit, I'm curious].
12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts".
[NEWS FLASH]
13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open
packet,eat nuts."
[Step 3: Fly Delta]
14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not
enable you to fly".
[I don't blame the company. I do blame parents for this one!]
15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals".
[Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?.....Good grief!]
No comments:
Post a Comment
fallen rain. (: