thoughts collide

 

i've the eyes of a fish tonight, lack of sleep, a huge huge sobfest (again) today..i still cry over the oddest thought, i even cried becuz one person i wanna befriend would shy away from me.. he told me maybe the guy would just want to keep to himself and prolly,it's best that leave i the person alone if he's not responsive to my warming up to him.. i hate it when ppl are lonely/ seemed lonely..oh,yknow..i've been crying a lot cuz i've been missing home, not like am based in another continent, however, i hate,hate the fact that it's not going to be easy to walk away from all these jazz now..

maybe a relationship suits me, maybe not.. maybe i have days, and maybe it'll help if i just cried my way out of a situation..

today we stayed up talking about a gazillion odd things, we got to sleep 3 hours or so..my head is spinning like that and my eyes are heavy as canonballs..but, it's always helpful when we talk, it's always fun when we discuss things like dell and their callers and the americans and general motors and call center and the astronauts and the moon and babies and fidelity.. and am like, was i like him when i was 20? with strong emotions and had grown-up opinions? was i? / i hate it when he spaces out though.. it makes me think whether i said something offensive or really wrong..

happy things/mail were in my inbox today.. i even got a hello from ace descuatan.. haha..

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showed him the online scrapbook i made first.. he was like; ngaa ka dutay photos?(nganu gamay ra photos?)told him, as if naman damu ta pics! and i got: teh sge ah papicture tah damu sa lagoon kag sa plaza bwas! (papicture tah ugma sa lagoon ug sa plaza..).. inahak.. this city is soo provence,france..

will go home for the weekend..at the best ang pasalubong.. gardenia na pan.. bow..

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'Shall I turn on the light?' she asked.
'No,' he said. 'I'll try to remember something.' He began to say aloud the only poem he knew by heart. As he spoke the words out into the semi-darkness they sounded extremely beautiful, he thought, because they could not see each other, perhaps.


Virginia Woolf ~ The Years