l♥ve

'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protect, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.'

-1 Corinthians 13:4-7
The Bible

fluster buster

i am flustered each time i do not know a workbook too well-i could not hide it, our workbooks are archaic in a sense and really not too understandable, even if i had cheats i am confused as well, so i honestly,truthfully cannot make my trainees grasp the lessons.

again, i am not infallible like the pope. i told Christian that i do not study prior to class because i am intelligent like dut but, i also changed my mind about my i.q. cuz now, i do stuuuuuuuuudy, and i stuuuuuuuuuudy hard. tas things go fckd up gihapon in class and my class would just stare at me blankly, roll their eyes, or answer me with crystal clear like the waters of a sapa, then i'd add yeah, like that of pasig river kinda clear..
see? if my mind is magulo, what more with my trainees?

well, it's just the first class, they're my guinea pigs, sooooo when i get another class, it might be better. i pray it'll get better.

diko ganahan mastressed out cuz mahal ang moisturizer.

  

gusto nyo ng cookies?

save my number ha.

(wala man gud ko load:) and too lazy to forward the new numbers..

i've a new number cuz my old sim snapped into two little pieces.
09174382296. :)

holler.

half truth

"...Only painful truths 
that I have to live with
And terrible lies

That I cannot live without..."

"Sunday Morning Ponderings" - E.J. Esquivas

saw horton hears a who last saturday with gelo.
it was a lazy, tearful sunday. and our 9th month.

prayer honestly works. i don't want to sound preachy but, i had been in this morose/unhappy/hopeless mode the previous weeks until i saw a sign on a jeepney that says"try prayer, it works.."//  it does. He is there.

as useless, anyone who'd win a vegas casino jackpot can say THERE IS A GOD when he turns filthy rich. but, there really is a God. and He works.

happy monday!

release air space

am done with flights and exchanges. major sigh of relief.

yay to me.

one more week! my wave's ready for the ops floor. :)

pre-weekend thoughts

i'm rereading old blog entries i wrote the past few months because some things that i am used to having now are wearing me out, such as the things that i do with angelo on a daily basis, and i am trying to find what was there before that seems like aren't present now.
maybe because we are both totally comfortable with each other that i no longer easily appreciate daily/regular/minor things.

i realized how i failed to mention what we ate for lunch/dinner, where we've been cuz mostly, i write about general things now. unlike before, i remember every detail of the day that's why it makes me a happier person to be in the relationship regardless of the daily drama that we both go thru trying to understand each other's character.

now things are almost, almost easy. i just wish that we both a have vacay like normal couples have at least once a year.

today/tonight, i wanna have cake from calea. and a drink.

have a great weekend everyone. i love you shobe and dichee.

wave 4

my first class for the new account. :)
and my not sooooo pretty photos.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/12486683@N02/

dreameria.

i've a love-hate relationship with my class. but, i think things are getting a bit better. i honestly snap at some of them who are weirding me out, they snap back too. hahaha.

there are times when i want to get out of the house and be alone. not that i like sleeping alone at all, but, i want some me time too. (then some other things may come out of it, so i won't even bother asking for me time.)

class will be over in a week, then i have a new class two weeks after. haaaayers.

i want a new dress. and dut pekpek shorts. hay. dreams.

---------------------------------->
"Once upon a time...

That's how they always start, the fairy tales that I read as a child. It's the proper place for them to start, because right away you know you're going to be taken somewhere else.

So.

Once upon a time there was a little girl who wished she could be anywhere else in all the wide world except for where she was. Or more preferably still, she wished she could find some way to cross over into whatever worlds might lie beyond this one, those wonderful worlds that she read about in stories. She would tap at the back of closets and always look very carefully down rabbit holes. She would rub any old lamp that she came across and wish on any and everything..." Charles de Lint, 'The Onion Girl'

when the stars go blue

last monday.
and earlier this month maybe

hayers

today must've been the longest day for me.

i hate airlines.
i hate credit cards.


--

 "We all, at some time in our lives, have an  acquaintance with darkness. It will pass."
-Ann Rinaldi

catch 22.

i told gelo how tired am i of everything, and i just wanted to be EMPTY. he told me i needed to see a doctor. pweh. grabeh kasweet sa ako uyab. i told him, maybe we should just take all the pills we have at home and just sleep and he replies with"romeo and juliet gyd yah?"..

haha. i'm just tired. each time i've work, i complain about the many numbered countless things that's associated with it. hayers. why wasn't i born rich lagi bah..

am not bored with work though. it keeps me awake and thinking and learning w/c is a good thing, however, TIRED is a bad thing for me.

pero anyway, am not the only person who's tired and w/out shopping money. so that makes me feel better.

yesterday, we bought gelo's prescriptions. we were looking for the generic brands cuz that would make the whole thang cheaper. and kaso, there's none. why can't they just make generic brands for all meds bah? why oh why.

class is tiresome. some gal trainee weirds me out with her one-off questions. sobrang like dut ka one-off.

tomorrow will be thursday. it's gonna get better. :)

 Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? Richard Bach

summer would be complete

if my little sunshine is here. hayers. :( 

er

i rushed gelotine to the ER last night.
he had acute pharyngitis and some uti.

that concluded why his fever episodes won't stop.

today:
worried.
sad.
working.
hurt.
scared.

i am.

'For that couple of minutes she symbolized everything that is wrong with how we perceive beauty as a society, she was the store bought ideal that drives girls to bulimia and anorexia. She was the skinny thinspiration that helps thirteen year olds put off eating for just one more day, and so I walked over and punched her.' -Joey Comeau, Lockpick Pornography

live, love, laugh

It is a defect of God's humour that he directs our hearts everywhere but to those who have a right to them.

Arcadia
Tom Stoppard

friday: gelo's ma and shobe came by. mopped the whole living area and the front yard squeaky clean, it's a shame cuz i was ecstatic coming to a fully mopped house. hahaha. gelo had fever so we just stayed at home friday night.

saturday: i had to clean every bedroom in the house, i hate lizards and ants- red ones cuz they are everywhere. i had to use baygon insect spray allover, good thing it doesn't smell as bad as before. i did half my laundry and in the afternoon had lunch at kfc(kathra- back in the day- ato-a fine dining), gelo and i did another round of grocery shopping in robinson's which i think is a whole lot better to shop in rather than SM(cuz everyone goes to SM and it's usually packed), bought a housekeeping magazine, and gelo's fever is worst than ever..

sunday: gelo made breakfast. :)
super OCd on housekeeping, had to mop and keep the floor immaculate white as much as possible, did another basket of laundry, we bought our stove and a pan with cover(pyrex/domo:) in SM, and since gelo's fever subsided a bit, we decided to get pizza from yellow cab. and i saw a mom carrying the same TH purse that i have, only her's is bigger, good thing gwapa sha cuz if she were bulingiton, lain na e-carry around ang purse..
i made spaghetti for dinner. he asked me if the noodles i used had veggies in it, i said, yeah, it says spinach on the package. and he almost quit eating. when will it be a good day for gelo to eat veggies?
there are candles and incense in every room in the house. our place smells like lavender/orchid fields na. :)

tah-day, half my monday went quickly. i try to get my bearing together, good thing i am also interested in the topics that we are about to cover for the rest of the day, so i am good.

--

life has been good lately. even on days when i have reason to wallow in hurt or frustration, i continue to overlook it cuz there will be days when the grey clouds will just go away.

it's just that everyday is always going to be a bit better. ♥

lemme go back

to starbucks' ayala cebu pinoy celeb dirt chikka with kathra and narda, to the sorrento wasted splendor summer nights with czarita et al, to portofino days with my gals from ps, to seeing the other side of the world ... maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, i do need a vacation.

Sometimes a traveller arrives in a town
that for some reason or other surprises him.
The manners of its inhabitants, the splendour, light fall,
the rhythm food is it the accent there is something that
makes everything purposeless in a way –
the traveller decides to leave the town when he
understands the town. This can take years. Sometimes
he doesn't ever leave.

Stitou

ooooooooh, the sweetest thing

And when I wake, the room is white with the morning sun. The light is so bright that it hurts my eyes. But I don't dare close them. I won't. Instead, I try to adjust to the dawn, letting the tears fall where they may, because it is morning; it is morning, and there is so much to see.

The Sweet Far Thing

i am glad the week is over. we did our first real food shopping yesterday and ended up buying processed food. i wish gelo would learn to eat veggies and fruits.

altho i feel stressed, i am grateful that i've work on holidays, after 4 years of being in this industry i've learned to love working on holidays. because it simply means more money. hehe.

i'm almost broke. i want a massage, the whole spa experience. coffee, mint, lavender, vanilla.. ahhhhhhhhhh.

it's friday, i'm in love

am happy the week is almost over. tomorrow's the end of 2nd week in training.
and we got our fridge na. our place is almost like a real home already.

gelo is home.

i wish every day is easter sunday. ♥

i miss

winter. and the winter wonderland costumes. bring me back! tinood kathra, maka miss si black leggings.

tulips.

today's payday. yehey.
i soooo wanna hit the beach.
i've 2 new bikinis but, without a beach to go to.
sobra ka loser.

--
i now love my class. and training.i hate accounting people from tp manila puro tangadels.
i wanted a dozen tulips. pink ones. and yellow ones too.
and i wanna go see phucket one of these days. hayers.
--

lunch had always been with Christian. daily.
w/c is okay. ilove chismis lunch time.

I only wanted
To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty. sylvia plath

choosing domestication

wala nami naga shopping altho gelo told me he'll get me a pair of guess pekpek shorts that i forever wanted but, had to hold off til next payday, and he'll get me a huuuuuuge bottle of that bvlgari parfum dut i don't think i'll need. cuz if he did, unsa nalang amo kaonon til next payday?

i told him we are buying a fridge. we are not going to guimaras this weekend with some kewl people who walked earth because we have a house to fill with domestic thingies such as decent bed frames, dining table and chairs, a couch, and that damn fridge and a stove.

we needed those.

it's hard to (quoting kathra) stop the little voices inside my head. cuz they do tell me that it's okay to shop. but, if i were preparing myself for domestication, i'd rather purchase house things. hayers.

yesterday, we talked about marrying. at times it's a difficult subject to talk about. cuz even if we both wanted to be married, we are also uncertain of marriage in itself. it's taxing to think about it. but, i know we will somehow agree on the same terms.

--

3 days of fastfood bingeing. we have to stop. pagod nako makita ang sm. mayta if ayala sha.

--
training is a bit better but, i feel off because my throat hurts. and i got the most terrible tasting ginseng candy ever made.

God is wonderful. i know dut i am made with a bad heart but, He continues to keep me.

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
the leap years by catherine lim

sugar oh hunney hunney

our apartment 2 weekends ago and my birthday dinner.

♥ gets me every time

okay i probably do not have a life aside from my training class cuz i have been talking about them since day one.

anyhoo, some are really weirding me out with questions that are not supposed to be asked. one asked about voucher pages, i replied with it could be just a one page voucher per person, one corrected me, i saw 2 of 2 that means it's two pages, am like ah okay that's possible, i am correcting myself. like duh, some questions are really soooo one-off that i wanted to tell them you can discover the whole thing by yourselves once you're on the ops floor, am not gonna tell you everything cuz i do not know everything myself too. i am not infallible like the pope.

my sunday went well. i got me a brown bikini bottom from kamiseta. ;)
we made lunch, we did some laundry, and we added a new clothesline in front of the gate..
i felt like i've accomplished so much with gelo despite of the rain that day..
we spent the whole afternoon in robinson's cuz our plans to go swimming was dampened by the rainy weather. we headed to tater's cuz tater's would be our second fave place to eat in next to chicken house.

saturday, we saw 10,000 bc. i told him it's a lame movie. and i am right. however, man is an amazing creature. in any movies i've seen, humanity always outlasts everything else.
and we bought house things. and i cleaned the whole house and fixed our closets. yey!

gelo: naforesee ko na magtambok ka when you give birth
raen: and if matambok ko, palangga mo pa ko?
gelo: oo, cuz true love man nakon ka
raen: uyyyyyy, tl nya ko
(and naa mi sa trisikad whilst talking about this:)

weekend, finally

totally looking forward to the weekend. this week has been stressful but, TABOO saved the day and i gave my class one huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge lecture tah-day.

i told them i don't need them if they are uninterested. and they can tender their resignation. haha.

dah. merese.

but, it was fun cuz after lunch they were normal trainees altho some gals are not quite interested, as in one gal was in her "mukhang tanga" mode dut i want to slap her.

and during taboo, they gave out the craziest descriptions for words and were teasing their cotrainees with respective love teams.

i did okay this week. yey.

i've laundry
i've wifely duties
i've a closet to arrange
a whole house to clean

yey.

yikes.

i still don't like my class. most of them are demanding and do not have manners. when they call your attention they'd say, "what was that?!!!" or they'd use their hands to beckon you towards them. grovers.

awon nako if they don't change after i issue IRs for their tardiness and browsing non-business related sites. ;)

hehe. even adults can learn a thing or two about manners.
one trainee came up to me with a suggestion that i give out the airport codes earlier this way they can study ahead of time, and i was like, don't i give them out 30 minutes before you guys leave class? you have your copies with you.

tas another one came to my table and opened my book to show me what page she's having trouble with. mejo atribs.

but, then it's woooooooooosah. ;)

last night we had dinner at 21, just me and gelo.

the 26th

i don't feel old. it's like a regular number, but, i am stressed. training did not go too well on the first half of the class cuz i was soooo sala set, but, double jeopardy(the game) always works. and i reckon that my trainees are either visual learners and hands on learners cuz they can't seem to follow when i am speaking.

so i got greetings from unexpected people. haha. people i wasn't able to speak with in years.
hayers. i miss davao plus cebu now. :(

and well, i got a disco/clubbing blouse and an aqua undie from the morays- nazel and charrrr

and i got a home decor thingy from a supervisor who's my trainee too. hehe.

i cannot count my blessings today cuz i know i have too much..

♥
raen

life in a .com

i've been trying to find my bearings with the job that i have right now, today i almost lost it and raised my voice in class because i,myself do not know wut to do with payroll issues. i am not acctg dept anyway. ;p that's why i am in training, payroll is not supposed to be my thing.

even if i am so harrassed at work daily and i have be ready in a snap, i make it a point to take my one hour lunch, diwGawd, di diay makagwapa ang product training. :0

i did not know that i will wind up missing gelo every day until april 4. our schedules do not work for us. we only get to see each other for at least 4-5 hours in a day. i hate it.

i am so pikon in class. i don't want to let my guards down cuz the class that i am in built a culture of their own from their old account. i kinda wanted to break that culture and hone them into the normal/regular TP culture without blatantly telling them that somehow they have been inculcated with a different set of work values that could've worked with their old account but, will no longer work with our's.

yipee! tomorrow's gelo's filed VL. hawswetch. nag VL for my birthday. :)


There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. But doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not be perplexed, though you will still get the same soaking. This understanding extends to everything.

Tsunetomo Yamamoto

your valentine's date

♥ gal pals. i thunk on valentine's day. unsure.

daily commute to life

so we moved, so the apartment, i realised is too big for the two of us, and we both had a hard time cleaning it up. there are at least half a dozen cockroaches in counting, we have tons of cobwebs, and my closet is not helping us get organized at all.

but, i am proud of gelo for being mature and calm and helpful and logical the whole time when i am about to cry in frustration.

i hate it that he is on the night shift and i get the day shift and i am to sleep alone. it's partly scarey and i have the lights on.

saturday, we moved and wound up sleeping from 4p til 7am the next day.

yesterday, we went home shopping! by home shopping, we had to go to libertad to buy odds and ends, go to sm for more stuff, and still; our place is everything but organized.

i have a tough class. their old account's culture is different from the rest of my old classes/ wave mates. and with tough, i say tough.

but, i will not be scared to write them up if i had to. and terminate if i had to.

i love my job. i am blessed to be doing this even if it's taking a huge stress toll on me.

PI

feb20

;0

MNL

jan 4-5, 08

rustic tacoma

rustic kay gikalawang nani mga pics sa ako phone.

photos from jan 6-7, 2008

craving girly-ness, a list

they have this on the bath and body website home page. i regret buying only a couple of small bottles of the spritz and moisturizer and then gave them away cuz now that i think of it, it's not being discontinued at all but, labeled as new! incredulous. and they also smell as great as estee lauder's beyond paradise and waaaaaaay cheaper!

i wish they sell locally. and had stores like the bodyshop here or in cebu..

i got me this stay alert chennellin balm that amps your being awake level cuz it smells like coffee and mint from organics- see them in malls in your area. go local. buy pinoy. hehe.

and speaking of buying, don't buy nike watches. dali maguba. murag dula-an. but, they're selling shirts for as low as 300++ php! :)

so far i haven't bought anything major. i needed money for a fridge. (katoh samsung 7 cubic feet na silver with water dispenser :)

i got me a pink and brown hibiscus print bikini. ambot if i'll ever hit the beach with all the training going on this summer. :(



since i cannot study at this hour my shopping list for weekend would be:
a mop
a sturdy soft broom
a liquid detergent/cleanser
tons of sponge
2 dozen hangers
pails- is this how you spell it?
laundry ropes
a two burner stove
frying pan
wooden spoons

and next payday, a dining set masking 4 seater lang. :) wood.
and if i am more ambitious, a red couch. and dark wood coffee table.



haha.

images from bathandbodyworks.com and ikea oz.

holly.

tomorrow's the big move. haven't packed yet. i've six huge cardboard boxes for things.

..as holly golightly said in breakfast at tiffany's(oh congratulate moi,i finished the movie whilst in transit in korea) I don't want to own anything until I find a place where me and things go together. I'm not sure where that is but I know what it is like. It's like Tiffany's.

and 4 might just be my fave number from now on..

will teach wave 4 on monday and class starts at 7am and ends in 4pm, the class graduates on April 4 and Gelo's wave will turn one on April 4 too. :)


had to find financing for a fridge. freaking hate being poor. there's nothing noble in being it.
nazel took me to late breakfast at chinky's. that place will give you all sorts of diseases if you eat there over and over. hehe.
and we went to lopues san sebastian. a first.

romina gave me a disney pin last night. how sweet is that?! and shana left us trainers thank you/ parting cards. 

at times the night shift gets the better of me that i tend to overlook things that i should be doing such as packing for the move, such as being a bit more thoughtful and so on.

gelo's a jerk today. he should make up for it. it will be my birthday in less than 4 days. should he continue being a jerk, i will throw him out to the swamp on our backdoor.

misshu shobe. ♥

pics attached- she bangs. hehe. iloveyou audrey hepburn. i love you jakathra toledo.

People in general attach too much importance to words. They are under the illusion that talking effects great results. As a matter of fact, words are as a rule the shallowest portion of all the argument. They but dimly represent the great surging feelings and desires which lie behind. When the distraction of the tongue is removed, the heart listens.
"Sister Carrie" Theodore Dreiser

06-01-08 tacoma

first night in washington

06-01-08hawaii

05-01-08_south korea

in incheon

tacoma

archaic photos

today, again

we were out today. videoke at people's village with gelo and nazel and pig who slept the whole time. time goes by breezily when you are having fun.

will be teaching wave 4. hayers. haggardness.com!



Without words, it comes. And suddenly, sharply, one is aware of being separated from every person on one's earth and every object, and from the beginning of things and from the future and even a little, from one's self. A moment before one was happily playing, the world was round and friendly. Now at one's feet there are chasms that had been invisible until this moment. And one knows, and never remembers how it was learned, that there will always be chasms, and across the chasms will always be those one loves.

-Lillian Smith, The Journey

homies.

we finally have our apartment :)

happy 26th to me later on in life.

i've so much studying to do for the next three days.

here, now.

There are two things I want to remember
About light, & what it does to us.
In the City of Light by Larry Levis

i've been busy and unsure and scatter-brained and all those things that i do not want me to be.
maybe i should've bought the book about the dalai lama this way i'd know how to go about things slowly but surely. :)

we have been building a lasting relationship with chowking gaisano latey.. i totally pray this would change..

oh gawd, i know i am almost broke kanina, but, gelo and i dropped by bong bong's pasalubong and it is loooooooooove. they've all kinds of tarts/sweets/ meringue/ you name it..
one day, we might end up starting a food business as well. sana as good as antojo's in tacoma cuz i really want a hole in the wall kinda fastfood place..

puslan man na naging insik mi pareho ni angelo.

gelo and i are a family no matter how we may appear to the rest of the world. i just wish that grown-ups had a better way of understanding each other cuz when we were kids it was soooo easy to own up to a mistake and say sorry..

may mga araw

na maka-adto mi sa amoy ok-ok na booze place named "secret"
or mag kape nalang out of boredom sa bob's lacson
or magpangita amo dog mansion whilst pobresa at pulubi pa kami. :)

di kabalos ang tp

kay ni brown out tong saturday human pilit kaau sa lawas ug panit cuz wala tubig sa balay..

hala niempake ug towels/change of clothes/toiletries ang raen ug gelo ug ni adto sa tp ug gipanghimoslan ang cabana near sa pool.

ayteh. di kabalos ang work place.

my now.

weekend went well. lalo na that my spirit was lifted after friday night's class cuz everyone in my class passed the test. yey!

saturday morning, i went out with miko and his guys from work and nazel, they had booze at lumer's inn whilst i waited. he was extra nice cuz he did not have booze, and we only stayed to talk and hang out- gawd, it was fun specifically because leomore was around, he would come up with things like anti-boring and we were teasing him to nazel- nazel, you snob!!!

then we went to look for a house in the taculing area.. house number 1 was nice, it has 2 bedrooms with closets and kitchen with cupboards.. but, there are people renting the place still and we had to wait.

gelo and i did not do anything special the rest of our saturday, we went to the mall to eat(kfc-kathra's fried chicken:), then to his cousin's place for his send-off dinner but, we had to leave early cuz i was up for like 24 hours..

ayyyyyy super sale ang national bookstore. i've no money for anything but food lately. so, my sore tush. :(

sunday, more fastfood.  chowking gaisano ata.

today, we found our apartment. 3 bedrooms in varying sizes. a driveway and our own gate/entrance.. huge living area/ kitchen with cupboards, we needed closets for the 2 other bedroom though. eyeloveit.. 1 year contract.. yatap..

plus i had sunburns on my shoulder because we walked the whole time..

we had cakes at calea today. ;)

i just realised that my reality is bacolod. now.

i miss you estefania. paramdam your soul please..

"..we accept the love we think we deserve."

 
--Stephen Chbosky
the perks of being a wallflower