soul set free

"There were days when she was very happy without knowing why. She was happy to be alive and breathing, when her whole being seemed to be one with the sunlight, the color, the odors, the luxuriant warmth of some perfect Southern day. She liked then to wander alone into strange and unfamiliar places. She discovered many a sunny, sleepy corner, fashioned to dream in. And she found it good to dream and to be alone and unmolested.

There were days when she was unhappy, she did not know why, -- when it did not seem worth while to be glad or sorry, to be alive or dead; when life appeared to her like a grotesque pandemonium and humanity like worms struggling blindly toward inevitable annihilation. She could not work on such a day, nor weave fancies to stir her pulses and warm her blood. "

Kate Chopin

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i'm behind 2 hours of desk work i suppose, but it's my first day at work. and am kinda officially out of the travel account, not that noone liked me there, i just made an utter display of dislike to Caesar, so my tush is stuck in the dungeon slash quarantine doing audits. ü am happy.

friends are adding me in facebook. it's unupdated, i don't know how to work it, and it's blocked at work. sow-ri. :)

footah meshadow, i threw up what i had for dinner. i hate pmsing. the past couplah days i've been either working too hard on house chores or obsessing about making the apartment look better and livable once my whole family moves in with me- that includes the middle sister and the youngest sister. ü and added to that pms list is my awful crying and wallowing spree whilst am reading real simple magazines or finishing a book.

backtrack:

saturday: slept all day. what else can i do? work week takes its toll on me on saturdays, and bcd party is kinda old.

sunday: church, i love church. i liked the speakers from his life, last sunday, i was almost tempted to join the small group- but, some things keep me from joining, my heart, my commitment, some grown-up mess you cannot straighten. i don't really know when can i sign up and stand for something about my faith..

i loved what angelo's uncle said during a prayer- may all of you find security in a future that seems uncertain, and may you enjoy Jesus, and starting today may you be a blessing to those whom you meet. i kinda needed those. i've been angry and i still wanna poke eyeballs. but..

naa days when you have very little money & you itch to spend sah? gahd, i loathe those days!
i got me aqua soft faux leather slippers from mendrez- they were very cheap!
got kenji a copy of doctor suess' book
got me a copy of the glass castle- a book about a writer in new york, a memoir actually, and i loved how though, it seems blasphemous for her dad to say Jesus H. Christ made me laugh.

saw big stan with nazel et czar. rob schneider is so pinoy, he included his mom on a cameo role!
dinner at the new place in bredco with them too. we shared grilled tangigue with lemon sauce, green mangoes with bago-ong, and tinola na shrimp. ü

monday: laundry day, i also got my walk in closet fixed, and now it has a flourescent bulb in it! whatta bright idea! haha. i kinda kept smsing dich that if i got killed the carpenter did it. haha. leche.
dich told me shobe will live with us too. and that i should be careful with what i'm wishing for. haha. kiddies and the sisters. a blast. a riot, i am sure.
someone got me jollibee. :) but, not cheeseburger. :(
i finished the book i bought too. i cried and laughed in between. i wish i'd make a fine mum one day. or if not, i can skip being a mom, i just want a house with a picket fence. ü

today, i cooked chicken. hot crispy ones. and hotdogs. :) food brings warmth gyud ai. and they make me happy. but, i still want to be an anorexic twig. it's been a week. my tummy still looked like a crystal ball.

i've been learning tons about His blessings lately. walang technical difficulties actually, sometimes i'm just scared being alone at the apartment, or walking on a dim-lighted street going to work, or scared of being bitten by a rabied street dog, and yet, they say, the fear of the Lord brings wisdom. so i know how to carry a stone to throw to a gago kinda dog, i know that i can just turn on the lights when i had a bad dream and is scared, i know that i needed to buy a flash light to carry to work, or a pepper spray maybe, and i know He is there. i kinda finally learned wut it meant to be a sheep to a Shepherd. ü God works.

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and i wanted these. :)

and i don't want anything argyle these days, bench is doing an overkill. masking cute,leche.