Jesus Take The Wheel

 

i do not recognize myself anymore. if who i were then in davao would look at who i am now, i would not know me....i'm trying to write a coherent entry but, i can't i am hurting, yet i do not know wut's hurting me. all that i've been carrying the past week had been really negative emotions that ppl around me are eaten by it too. for instance, elaine smsd that she is really gonna tender her resignation, i know/ i believe that for some reason my grumpy attitude towards work must've influenced her as well. [ wut's more pathetic than being up on a sunday nyt, clad in dreary work clothes, going to work in a mass transport? i could not complain, i prayed for this years ago. i should've been more specific. ] 

God, i am letting myself go, i try to escape church, i neglected my devotional. I were a Jesus freak before. wut happened?

 

 

all week long am bothered by work, i feel guilty for not finding time for karya when she got to cebu to see me. i just feel tired, sleepy, and unhealthy altogether.

 

<3 my rest days:

 

after shift thursday,  elaine/narda and i had breakfast at dimsum break btc/ thank God for payday weekend....we have been living on elaine's credit cards the previous week... we spent the entire morning moping and griping about work, i guess it's about time that we do something, if we do not feel like being here anymore.

 

thursday nyt, saw someone i shouldn't be seeing anymore. i guess i had to remind myself that i am not a thorn bird. and even if i say i do not hurt and i am numb and jaded, i still do.

 

friday, kermit smsd. i am amused at the thot that he's watching maalaala mo kaya on a weekend nyt.

 

saturday morning, i went with dich to the groceries. i will miss groceries and queueing with her when she leaves homes for good.

 

and i did the laundry. and slept like a pig the whole nyt thru. [kermit smsd, kenzo's with him daw, they were watching barney.....awwww]am losing it najuds.

 

sunday, did not go to church, i cannot explain the aversion, went looking for a dress for shobe. she found one, i got one for myself and dichee too. ambuts.

 

oh! HAPPY FATHER's DAY papa. and to wari and to kermit. <3

and to everyone else....

 

me edits: here's a really good song to cap wut i feel. it's been frustrating eversince mrm training/ i have been really restless, after futile trying to steer my wheel, i realized SOME1 else had to take it from moi.

 

 

Jesus Take The Wheel

 

 

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
she was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh