| Mood: |  exhausted |
| Music: | bed of lies-matchbox20 |
i did not finish my week's quota, so here i am on a monday morning, doing wut i should've done last week, muchos procastination. sighs.
i am happy cuz we are smsing again, not the four hour kind- with talks about our fave person, fave food, fave anything. it's just talk talk na parang how they would put it here, pawala. i even mentioned i missed him, pero siguro it's incredulous to miss someone whom you see everyday. ewan. siguro nga. ;(
ayun sabi ni joe, people would end up natak-an... i guess am a huge candidate for the katalaka kind.
<3
saturday morning was spent sleeping, i woke up around 9, with several sms unread, cee smsd that we go out, he asked if we were going out too, nanibago nga ako, cuz the past few weeks parang non-entities na nga treatment namin, except when i'd stay in their pods and would deliberately talk to him or his teammates. cee and moi had dinner at mccafe, i had one shot espresso, maka-addict najud...then we came by depot, cuz we were off to see peter-trainer, cuz it's his going home party, ummm we danced(??) then i told vicky and mac we were leaving, i guess i told em we were going home, but, they saw us at MO2, hehehe. tumbling, ang going home... cee left me with vincent to finish the small pitcher of the margarita she bought, then vincent and i had club sandwich at business inn... then vince took me and cee home, i begged cee that we check liquid, nge, too late, jeremy's car wasn't there, i guess; who'd stay til 4am at liquid? hehehe...
sunday, cee came by, we had plans of going to lagoon to jog, or play badminton, or go to church then to TP and i finish my monitors, then she ended up wanting to sleep, i was compelled to change my linens, cuz it's about time that i do, she bought me some lavender tin canned candles and some incense with the ceramic holder, i feel like my place is full of lilac-coloured thingys... we then made rice and tuna, then we ended up zzzzzz, snoozing, then she told me she doesn't feel too well, she ended up puking blood. she was soo wan, it's the first time that i saw her blanche out. i told him cee had this weird wilted veggie look(and manny won-hehehe), he replied get an ambulance. gago.
i smsd jeremy, asked him if we could take cee to ER, yep, pinagER. am like laughing pero am a wreck kaya inside, am like thinking wut if ma finds out how kalat iam here, wut if her mom gets heartbroken with wut i suggested cee to do. wut if i killed many many people in the process.... shicks, am a murderer. ewan, sobrang nahihiya nko kay jeremy.
the other week am too wasted to think straight kung ano ano na nisms ko skanya, i promised i'd go to church, i did not sms him, and keeps missing church, now, i had to tell him a part of my herstory and now cee's. parang, gawd, when i think about it, mine and cee's problem that we had to overcome is plainly BOREDOM and we're like 23 and 24s who could not think straight and aren't too responsible of our actions.
we are like two of the luckiest people in the world, we only tend to ourselves. we can be selfish whenever we want it, we aren't compelled to take care of other ppl other than ourselves, tas we would endup not really taking care, good care of ourselves. tanga na siguro kami at kalahati if we do sayad stuff that will take us to the hospital again.
that brings me back to the one conviction that i had before.... the world does not need better condoms, the world doesn' t have to be taught better contraception, if you call yourself a Christian stick with a Christian who won't break yer soul and yer heart...
i had to talk to her mom, ewan if i should talk to ma about the mess imade this week one of these days.... i did talk to cee's mom. sighs. iwish i did not addup or we did not addup to her daily burden. kakahiya talaga. she even drove me home. hay.
<3
he smsd during the night. parang buti naman, he is not mad at me when i told jeremy to kiss him. haha. kafunny, am really wasted saturday night man din. pero from now on, am not gonna make the booze or alcohol accountable for my buangit texting.
<3 during the stay in ER, there was this stretcher with the label: ER / Morgue, totally distracting, jeremy had to take the fill-out sheet from me and filled it out for Cee, hehehe. then he left...buti nalang vincent came by, sya naging next school bus....
earlier sunday morning itold cee am wondering why am i here, she said, sge lang chee, you're here and yer learning, yessss, i realized that in the process of learning things about other people, i am relearning to get to know who iam.
tama ka: be responsible for your actions raen.
i guess it's about time....
<3
but if there's nothing there to make things change
if it's the same for you
i'll just hang....
well i always say, it would be good to go away,
but if things don't work out like we think
and there's nothing there to ease this ache///
but if there's nothing there to make things change
if it's the same for you
i'll just hang
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fallen rain. (: