like grass

"It's just those details- poorly chosen clothes, slightly flawed teeth, delightful mediocrity of soul- that make a woman lively and real. The women on posters or in fashion magazines, the ones all woman nowadays try to imitate, lack charm because they're unreal, because they're merely the sum total of abstract instructions. They're not born of human bodies, but of computers."

The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera.

kung wala'y french baker sa city that you're in tas di ka karampage didto to make yourself feel better, ang quote above might help.

♥

i didn't make it to any cemeteries. uno, too sleepy, second, i got scared cuz what if some ghost might think i am a ghost as well and chase me home dibah?

so weekend was just spent sleeping, texting vanessa and michael ty who had been there now and then the past 3 years. dich had been calling to keep me posted about the big move. and telling me to eat cuz she diagnosed me with hallucination for not eating. kaloka.

the coffee diet worked fab. i don't think i wanted hollowed cheeks. i just want to fit in the jeans i cannot fit in the past few months. kaso lang you get scared of dogs down the streets because of too much caffeine!

may mga letseng dalmatians from a huge house on my street. tas tonight, it was dalmatians encounter. so i had to just keep still and not panic, altho my heart was beating so fast i could hear my breath. letseng mga iro toh.

dich told me they'll move cities on november 15. so keken will be here earlier. kairi's not moving anymore. she has her yaya na. sayang. dich would have more fun if kairi were in bacolod.

notice that it has been raining all weekend? ayawkow. today, i had tonetoneladang laundry, then when it's almost dried/dripped out kay niulan kalit. wala ko nahappy. and my neighbors are too loud at times. yung loudness na may angst. biglang may nagwawalis ng front lawn nila today, then mushagit kalit. am like hala, asan ako nang nangyari ang kaguluhan?

:)

missed church. pati church at times when i start missing it, i become too lazy. but today, i kinda went across the devotional and found this..

worrying over what we have lost or has been taken from us will not make things better but will only prevent us from improving what remains.

so ayan. am seeing sunshine this wednesday! :) sayang ana leaves tomorrow.

and lastly, from real simple. am not buying any of those magazines na, naa man sad sa internet. :)

there is one consolation from being sick, the possibility that you may recover to a better state than you were ever in before. Henry David Thoreau.

so i guess one year nako sick from physical abuse and it's not fair if i dwelt on those things that would make me not see what's really happening to me or blur out wut's reality. it's good that all is ended abruptly. and i will no longer talk about it cuz it shouldn't be me who should see a therapist but him who made up all those lies to make me believe that we were gonna be okay.

yawn lang. tapos na po.

edits: muwrite diay ko later about pret-a-poor jenny and nate archibald. am so napikon! why da hell did she get the best meat? and not tp meat pa! 

tcGB!