rain under the water

i've been ranting about being under the weather the past month. iknow i've been sick. and am making a big time fuss out of it. the results came out today. i've been pierced and poked at more than a couple of times. and again today because they may show a different result today cuz i've flu.... oooooooh yeah. how exciting can life get. more than 2x a week i've been painstakingly waiting for a doctor to tell me whether i am really ill or not.... i wanna yell am done. good thing today, they mentioned am almost done. yeah my ent dismissed my case as okay, but needed muchose rest, but still had to see that hematologist.

test results: 6 count i guess...of WBC 5.14 RBC...and some 196 thousand blood platelettes...that means...am okay. i don't have lymphoma.... the ESR... result i didn't get but, at least it stated am gonna be well... yey!

however, i've been cutting cheese whilst am peeing, greyish cheese...and i've still had fever recurring, what majorly bugs me are the rashes on my chest with lil tiny puslike heads...it's freaky. and the doc again asked me to take another poking. and will have to see her again tomorrow. last nalang jud ka doc....cuz i might be a case for dengue....

ifinally let go of anger. i've been angry the whole time. angry at nothing and everything all at once. i've managed to control it. i realised nothing can be accomplished if i carry that angry-like-PINK-the-singer mode. my spirit would just be mottled by it and my body worn out. however, i will still snap at snap-worthy ppl, not answer emails/phone calls/ sms of ppl not deem worthy of my time or friendship. i owe that to myself. even diplomacy they won't wring out from me. for instance a gal from high school who would only call me when she needed something from me or at that time does not have anyone to go with and would ask me out and be her mignion slash clone. no. iwon't deal with you anymore. even if you had money, yer money cannot buy culture and manners. rsvp. yan spell that out and learn the word. iwish she cud read this. hahaha. then another one from work who thinks am acting like a twin sib to her. sooo not. consider this. am already mocking you and you still do not know. and as if. if am ill, you'll not catch the same illness that i have. 9th degree exponated, if there's such thing, to another 9 degree na ang sakit ko. loose brain movement na eto. you'll never have that. myged. quit acting like me. naiirita nako. and lastly, don't think yer cute when you're wearing that klaro na tig99 pesos na top. stay away from me.

there. at least am done. hahaha.

iwanna go out with kaith/ riggy/ and ppl from Western WATTS, the whole time i thought i walked friendless there last year...yun pala i've a handful. but, right now, am sorting out my life and am being conscientious of my finances....kaya kaya kaya...sa susunod na lang....

 

amishoowari. there.

 

i cannot wait to go to piyaya land. and be piyaya girl while a piyaya boy is waiting. hahaha....

im trying to be the best daughter/ best sister you can have right now. and am trying to be the truest friend there is. bear with me cuz this is all that i've got right now.

<3

i will start over again. this time am praying things will turn out fine. i will bum around for another month or two. then start over. i think having to jump from employment to non-employment is like writing jacel a letter. i write a loooong one...then i crumple it, then do another re-write in wut i wud think is a more readable mail....then i scrap it again til i endup not sending her any. sorry jace. =( this is wut's hapnin to me.....to life. all rewrites. then nothin' is sent.