marking it down to learning

Mood:	giddy
Music:	black and white ppl

amards mode on: am thinking about staying for another six months or so, then if I already sorted out my priorities then I can make a thoroughly thought-of decision, whether am keeping the job or am gonna be moving back to cebu. this has been eating me muchos.  I feel terribley left out, una, being an aunt to kenji, parang am the absentee aunt, second, being a sibling to both of my sisters who I eventually have to leggo in the future, sobrang selfish ko for running away, for quitting etel cuz am miserable taking calls, but, if i did not decide to be here, i wouldn’t really see who or wut was it in cebu that i have, guess tama ako when I told Claire during the interview, I wanted to appreciate wut i have or who I have in a safe distance. and I wouldn’t realize my heart. Nonetheless if all else fails and if I cannot see the works of his hand, I will trust his heart. <3

 

minsan kse sobrang lungkot to come home to an almost empty place without anything or anyone, tas sobrang used to ako having ppl around, na musulti nko gi-huwat ra nku imo text if gnahan ka mulaag. Sighs.

 

Gawd, am such a child gyuds. Am lost.

 

Wukits, lami na ayo sya ingnan, paksit, kung kibaw raka na sa one thousand ka thots mucross ako mind around 800 included ka. Paetch. Nganu di manka mureply nku? Na-unsa manka tawn?

 

 

XoXo

 

On domestic violence: grabeh ka irits najud ning mga red ants sa pad, 2 ka boxes na barely touched cereals ang gipapak nila. Lo-od ang thot if di nko ilabay, mas malalang bacterium pa kaya ila mahatag nko if maka-eat kog ant-ridden na food. So compelled ko ilabay. Anogon ayu. Tas, 3 consecutive days jud ko ga-play as ant bully. Galagot nko. Dili mu work tong no ants allowed na chalk sa baygon. Tas di pod muwork ako panghinlo sko banyo kay kita nko ug baby uk-uk. Irits na kaau.  Tas ang kafaetch pajud kay ang mga silya na antique naka kalat gihapon sa garaje. Wala man lang na-looy nko ang secretary sa antique shop nga kuyawan judko every time manaog ko…grrrr…

 

Today, lingaw kay murag sayun ra ang work, although I feel rusty for having 3 days consec rest days, but the fact that I’ve to monitor at least 8 agents, gaan na kaau. ;)

Parang 14 to 16 calls a day lang. Saya. ;) petiks.

 

Gabii ako crutch nisulti na mag dinner mi, naulaw podko palibre nihatag ko’g chipa para sko food ug drink. Mao toh, lipay ko kakaon kog cheken inasal sa mang inasal kumbinsing east. Hehehehe. I wasn’t born blind pala, I was born without a limb. I am lame/crippled if wla ko crutch. Wala pko karealized til now na grabeh diay ko ka dependent sa ubang tao. La dependencia. Na murag if wko katext constantly, or wa ko kastorya constantly or wako anyone mamatay ko. Or mura mamatay ko. And I feel guilty cuz wut if one day I’d tell him I woke up and found out I can walk, how will I dispose him na? Dibadiba? Buangit jud ko. Hehehehe. Tas he got me berry berry cheesecake from calea. Lipay ayo ang batang yagit slash demonyong walang impyerno na itago nalang natin sa pangalang raen. Hehehe. Ayun when I got home hagok to the max.

 

 

Wukits. Mataba na daw si kenji. ;) hay. Kaulion nko. Faetch.

 

 

Sunday afternoon after nagchurch, cee et moi caught happy feet. Grabeh ako katawa, murag amaw ang movie. Hahaha. Mao ratoh. It’s a lonely planet after all. Then we had ummm pamahaw at bob’s café-lacson tas we decided to have dinner at lord byron’s, w/c is mas lami if sa real lord byrons’s jud, bati ang sa ppl’s village. Mao ratoh. I cannot get over happy feet. 

 

 

<3
Raenberry

“Over the course of the average lifetime
you meet a lot of people. Some of them
stick with you through thick and thin.
Some weave their way through your life
and disappear forever. But once in a
while someone comes along who earns a
permanent place in your heart”