Outta These Clouds

 

Mood:	relieved
Music:	back to good

 

 

I am staying. I have to say that over and over again, 
that way it will be magnified from a small voice to every day affirmation, to making a point, 
and keeping a goal. I will stay, and am not walking away; unless other circumstances, 
other than my fickle-mindedness would tell me not to…

Life is working perfectly well these days. It’s unbelievable how richly blessed I feel lately,
even if most days it would be a drag if you would talk to me
because the whole time I have done nothing but whine about my current state of life, 
of heart, of all things trivial. 

When friends would ask how I am holding up here, 
I would still say am stressed and I miss how things were the previous months before I moved here,
albeit my glum mode the whole point of staying and planting my feet in the city
and letting it grow on me would weigh more. 

I mean, I already came up with logical, reasonable, 
and monetarily responsible solution to leaving Bacolod and the job, however,
if I go home I might end up regretting not giving the city a chance.

If I did not move, who would I be? 
I’d still be the gal who’d hang on to a verbally abusive jerk the whole time, blinded,
and would still hope things would work out to her advantage in the future, 
I would still take calls-dang, and I would not have known my heart.

Things are almost, almost perfect TALAGA right now, that it scares me. 
Though the fortune cookie website says 
THINGS WILL TAKE LONGER THAN I THOUGHT THEY WOULD, hehe…

Anyhoo am done. Next subject… 
Dear Lord, just make me appreciate who I have, 
and who is sticking it with me, appreciate the fact that people, shiny,
happy people would tell me their stories, make me want to LISTEN and be there. 
Make me hope to learn about them and that way it’s not gonna be about moi the whole time, 
or about the deleted friendster-FRIEND, who I thought locked his profile,
it turned out that the page is open. Dang!
But, I know it’s about time that I erase the sms cuz they really meant nothing anymore,
or maybe it did not mean anything AT ALL, and am deleting the blurry photos 
cuz they are all causing me tons and tons more cloudy judgement. 
Am not pining anymore. 

Way cute: I know I kept saying thingy, some technicians got it in their systems,
that when they’d take calls they’d say: oh, that thingy on your printer sir, that sticker thingy, hehehe. 
I should have better things to say, other than blah blahs and yada yadas. Hehe.

My heart goes out to teej; he did not make it to the cut for level 2 technicians. 
I feel accountable for telling him he had a great improvement over time. Sighs. 
He would get promoted eventually, I think. He is good and he knows that.

Brrr. It’s freezing. 

And soo 2006 was a blast. 

In a nutshell I left a job that made me happy and unhappy at the same time,
I got misdiagnosed with lymphoma and dengue fever, 
I’ve had a really bad ear infection that got me into Chong Hua Hospital again,
I welcomed the new year with people who had interesting lives and stories to tell- who, 
if I met in college would never exchange hi hello’s when we pass through the halls, 
I moved to a lil city, hoping that the semi-provincial life would do me good, and it is, I guess. 
I finally have a nephew, and best of all, my holidays will be a blast. Haha. And oh, am not taking calls!

Life’s good. Thank You good Lord.

X0X0

Yesterday, the gals from the team am monitoring decided that we have an early dinner at kfc robinson’s, 
cee/moi/niki/tin c/nazl, then eventually ej-non-gal joined us, 
we trooped the maybelline counter tried on make-up, lip glosses, and stuff,
we scoured for cheap flip flops, nazl and I got us a pair of lilac sequined tsinelas from 152 lily. 
Then we headed to fetish, Sorrento, and then had dinner at my house. I cooked! Yey! Hilaw ang kanin. Hehe. 
Ej went home, and the gals ended up having booze binge, well, not quite.
Red horse is not my fave drink. Promise. Wukits, 
after December am quitting any bad habit that a good girl is stuck with. *Promises, or else sue me.

Ending in a song…

I'm here waiting for something new to break my heart

So callous laden, I can't feel a thing at all

Will You catch my fall?

From lost and not found, to run and not hide

My hand inside... (Your hand)

<3 Jars of clay

 

♥
Raenberry