a spat of daily neurosis

 

 

 

going thru a bout of PMS  is paksit. This bloatedness and tiredness and no happiness mode is really a pain.

--

Buti nalang kathra posted manille’s istilo gang and I gaped and wowed at the clothes and materyosong kabaliwan of the beautiful people of manila..who knew nice-princess batong is in manila anyway? Gaga talaga yun.. haha.. wala lang man nagwarning.. at times you’d say, fuck that, why find happiness from someone, why be giggley and believe the crap that some ppl may tell you- well, here’s news.. yessssss, happiness and some delusions will and may come from another being who volunteers to be an entity in yer pathetic semi-existence. But, amen to LC(laguna beach-original cast)

for saying that it won’t do you good if you go for people. Okay, I am not going.

Am not going anywhere..

 

--

I read robert fulghum’s journal about wrath and anger and infuriation- all these.. God, Jesus, the deity had wrath of some sort.. yes, God manifested anger.. kaya nga there are some rules drawn.. well, I just thought that at times, anger or the anger that we feel can be excused becuz God has anger in Him too.. and we are little tiny mirrors of Him right? Eiwan ko. Okay am not angry, at times I take one mole/ant-hill of a statement and twist it in my head until it becomes a proverbial mountain(description quoted somewhere) and would hurt me like hell.. no.. I say, if I am a Christian and dead to self, I should be more overbearing and not take offense

with the way some ppl act around me(or at a city’s distance-yet) or say things to me or give opinion..and then again that will be nuts. Some of the things He wants are fucked up like that and so hard to follow..

 

--

Okay, papatulan ko na etoh, jen(team thor jen-bata forever jen-best agent jen) smsd yesterday that regine’s role in paano kita iibigin is a call center agent working for etel. Or she just works for etel. Haha. I should see the movie.. much better than pirates cuz I never understood movies without sub-titles anyway. :)

 

--

 

I needed a good book for the weekend. And a good head to make myself attend Sunday service cuz am sure to miss it the weekend after next..

Okay if I make tampo-tampo to God, He would have more karapatan to feel tampo tampo big time too..

 

--

Wala akong happiness today. A declaration.

 

--

 

Maaaaaaaaaan, I wanna go home. No, I do not want cebu or davao or any city for that matter.. I want my family. My dysfunctional,dislocated family, fractured from alcohol, bad debts, mortgages,gambling, mid-life crisis .. In all its brokeness I want it.

 

--

Fuck, why did I ever leave home. How selfish can one get bitaw?

--

 

wow, you can just google bianca2x and it'll lead you to this.. how kewl is that? :)

--

oh well, at times the world does not revolve around you, you should now.. and at times people are disinterested..gawdwattabitchPMSis.

--

 

Okay am done. That feels better. ♥

--

myk, my mobile phone is a piece of crap. mao na wako gaload, pde syang mabulok..almost 2 years natah bai. haha. ♥ i'll ask if you threw that decayed red knapsack away next time i'll talk to you..muah..

 

 --

the anger of the moment-that is the very memory of us.. (quoted)